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Answer: This is a very tough question and a very personal choice. It's almost impossible to allow every wedding guest to bring a plus one unless your budget isn't an issue. The absolute must 'plus one' guests are: married guests, engaged guests, and possibly guests who live with a significant other. Beyond that it's really up to what your budget allows. Maybe allow guests to bring a plus one if they're in a committed relationship, but maybe not a plus one for the singletons. Will that leave a couple guests feeling singled out? Possibly, but it's about what you can handle, not what will make everyone happy.

Answer: I honestly cannot find anything on this tradition, and haven't heard of it. It may be part of a tradition of ensuring that all guests are properly thanked for the gifts received. Traditionally (very old traditionally) a list of desired gifts was always given to the parents (at least on the bridal side) to ensure that registry gifts were all received and weren't duplicated: family members and loved ones would turn to them to see what gifts were still un-purchased from the list. Of course, that's before hand, though. I don't know of a need afterwards unless there's a tradition of the parents' assisting with Thank You cards and notes.

Answer: The very first place to start is by choosing a date and location. You really can't line up any other details in place until you have a wedding date, so your best course of action is to start checking out reception locations to find a place and date that work for you. From there you can research and plan everything else around that one day.

Answer: Once you have your wedding date, you should try to book (or at least meet with) an officiant as soon as possible! Just like with any of your other vendors, wedding officiants have a tendency of filling up quickly. They, too, can only handle so many weddings at one time! What's more, it is important to find the right officiant for you, and you don't want to hesitate once you do (in case they are booked out from under you). The ceremony is major part of every wedding, because it literally is 'The Wedding.' You need an officiant that connects with you emotionally and spiritually. Don't wait until the last minute to try to find one who does.

Answer: Honestly, more often than not, after parties are generally not hosted by the wedded couple. They're more usually a place and time where everyone pays for their own way or they BYOB (bring your own booze). Just have signs made up for the guests as they're leaving or have the DJ/band announce the when and where at the end of the night!

Answer: Honestly, as difficult as it may seem (or at least worrisome) now, on your wedding day you'll be very happy to have a guide to get people into place. You do, however, have the freedom to set most anyone into clusters that work for you. Gone are the days of the groom's family on one side and the bride's family on the other. Mix and match whoever will cohabitate best together. At the end of the day, it's really just for meals that they will be seated together. They're all their because they love you and are happy to celebrate with you. All differences should be on hold for this one day, anyway!

Answer: Traditionally it's the groom's parents who traditionally pay for the rehearsal dinner. More modernly anyone can pay, as most modern couples are also paying for most of their wedding (or splitting costs with their families). Just remember, whoever pays has the last say on most of the details. As for who attends, the group usually comes down to parents on both sides, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girls and ring bearers with their parents, your officiant and any other close family members.

Answer: You still have plenty of time to get all of your pro vendors in order! It's not the extra time that most of them need, necessarily, it's more about the availability. You'll find at only 6 months out that some of the vendors you initially call will be booked up. Don't lose faith! Keep calling vendors you like, because you're bound to find a vendor for each category who happens to have space on your wedding day! That's why it's important to have more than 1 top pick for each category. With multiple options to call you're less likely to worry about being under the wire.

Answer: When it comes to applying for your passport, honestly, the sooner the better. The standard processing time, as of today, is 4-6 weeks to get a new passport processed and received. That's pretty standard. If you needed to there's also an expediting option to speed up the whole process (for an additional fee, of course) and that takes about 8 business days currently. Still, to be safe and have peace of mind, order it as soon as possible so it's one less worry on your plate. Also, be sure to apply for it in your maiden name, even if you're taking your husbands name on your wedding day. If all of your documents don't match up, you won't be allowed out of (or worse back into) the country. You can always apply for a name changes on the passport in the future.

Answer: There are lots of little tricks to help you keep awake, beyond the obvious of energy drinks or coffee (which either can be very unhealthy in large quantities). Be sure to stay hydrated with lots of water and eat lots of fresh healthy foods, frequently. Run cold water on your inner wrists and pat down your face with a cold washcloth wherever you don't need to worry about makeup. Work on a little on your pressure points by rubbing your earlobes or the back of your hand between your thumb and index finger. Get as much natural light during the day as possible, and then absorb all of that fun, upbeat music during the reception!

Answer: I agree, getting your hair and makeup done for your wedding day is definitely pampering and soothing. It goes way above and beyond that, though, to give you the perfect wedding day! If it's all about 'saving the money' you really need to compare what it would take for you to come as close as possible to how a professional would make you look. Not only do they make your look fabulous, but they make it stay all day long with professional grade products. Trying to do this on your own, alone, can cost you just as much on products and instruments. On top of that, professionals have been working on perfecting their craft for years in order to master just about any look that you're going for. Lastly, many artists will stick around for at least post-ceremony touch ups necessary for photo-shoots and your reception (if you want them to). Trying to do that yourself on the go can and will be beyond stressful. All in all, you save yourself a lot of time and stress (if not money) by hiring a professional to help keep you wedding day perfect all day long!

Answer: When it comes to your wedding favors the sky is really the limit. You can spend as much as you'd like or as little as you'd like. You've already thrown together this amazing celebration for everyone to attend, and the favor is just the icing on top of the cake! Whatever you choose to buy, make, or spend is up to you, your fiance, and your budget.

Answer: It can be hard, on both your future-spouse and yourself, when you don't get along with his or her side of the family; especially siblings. It's not required that you have them in your bridal party, just as it isn't required to have your own siblings in there. It is suggested, though, especially if the relationship is already a little rocky. You don't need to make his sister your MOH and be very upfront with their(her) choices being limited to what you're willing to give them. If you think it's going to be a further detriment to your relationship, though, it probably will be for the best to not ask them to take part. Do whatever works best and be as honest as possible.

Answer: Getting sick is one of the factors in life that we really have no control over. Yes, you can be sure to get plenty of sleep, wash your hands religiously, and keep away from anyone who's sick, but sometimes those pesky germs slip through anyway! Here are a couple simple tips: 1) for a head cold be sure to keep plenty of non-drowsy decongestants on hand, be sure to check warning labels though for things you can't mix with (i.e. alcohol!!). Stay away from anything with Acetaminophen in it, as it can become toxic if mixed with alcohol, even hours later. 2) for a headache, be sure to keep painkillers available (noting the above) and drink plenty of water. Also be sure to get an extra caffeine kick if it's possibly due to a lack of coffee. 3) for an upset stomach/bathroom issues, be sure to take Imodium A-D, Pepto-Bismol or Kaopectate, and then rinse and repeat as often as needed/recommended.

Answer: The bachelorette party is hosted with the traditions much like the bachelor party. Everyone who attends (besides the bride and groom) pays a specified amount to cover themselves and their share of the bride/groom. The host may decide to cover decorations, invitations, etc. but generally everything else is split evenly.

Answer: That's a great question! You certainly want to keep both and don't want to risk trying to DIY your preserving. There are professional companies that will either mail you a prepaid package to ship your bouquet or dress right to them for preservation. They will ship you back a tidy, air-tight and safe item to showcase. There are also many local options (especially for gowns) that you can bring your dress to them, they'll clean and press it, and then preserve it properly for you.

Answer: Congratulations on your wedding being almost here! You can definitely make sure that you stay as perfectly together as you'd like everyone to believe you are! Start by staying hydrated to keep yourself alert and glowing. Dehydration takes a lot out of a person, and it will definitely show! Next, keep blotting papers/wipes on hand at all times to blot away sweat and oil to keep the shine at bay. Baby powder is your friend, keeping delicate areas from perspiring and chaffing. Lastly, whenever possible, head inside or keep to the shade! The cooler you stay the more kept together you'll stay.

Answer: That is a really hard dilemma, but only because it seems like your hearts are set in two different places! My best suggestion would be to go with the best of both worlds. There are a lot of great companies who offer a little bit of both: a live band that performs with a DJ who'll step in for breaks and any specified times when you want a DJ. Wedding bands are awesome: they're like having a live concert just for your wedding day. Don't give up on the dream if you still want it and it's within your means: add a little bit of both to have your cake and eat it too!

Answer: Being part of a bridal party is a big commitment; from helping the bride plan her wedding and planning a shower/bachelorette party to paying for all of the little extra costs along the way. It's all part of the bridal party responsibility. It is not your responsibility to pay for your bridal parties wedding day wardrobe, but it is best when you keep the cost as minimal as possible (which is sounds like you're already doing).

Answer: Very honestly you already know what's best. You made it very clear that you didn't want children at the wedding, and if you let one come (no matter how close the relation) you need to let them all. Your best bet is to possibly ferret out the reason why your future niece or nephew absolutely needs to come: is there a lack of babysitters available or do they just want their little one to be center stage? If it's the prior, maybe you can help your FIL find good arrangements for the little one, possibly splitting a room at a near by hotel and having a close friend take the nanny shift? If it's the latter all you can do is stick to your guns. It's not fair to the rest of your guests and this is your wedding, not hers. We can only hope that she will see the light and realize that it's about your wishes on your wedding day.

Answer: I am a big fan of adding DIY touches to your special day...but as exactly that, touches. As you're figuring out, it's a lot, a lot of work trying to do absolutely everything yourself. I would suggest adding the projects that you love and having local professionals create the rest: that way you have the DIY effect that shows how much love you put into your planning AND you support local small businesses (while cutting your stress and workload in half).

Answer: Well, first know that ultimately you can only do your best but you can't make absolutely certain of anything...once you can do that you'll let a lot of pressure off of your shoulders. You can, however, have a plan of action incase chaos does occur. For your groomsman, your fiancé’s best bet it to 'lay down the law' so to speak to ALL of his groomsmen. This will hopefully get through to the partier that this isn't an appropriate 'go crazy' time, without singling him out. For your other friends with wild streaks, have one of your trusted bridesmaids in on a plan with you: if you get worried about an individual that seems like they're partying a little too hard have that bridesmaid nonchalantly work their way over to the friend and assist them or give them a little bit of a heads up. You'll have help to keep you from stressing and all should remain peaceful!

Answer: You should absolutely check with the city or town hall before moving any further into your wedding plans. Many towns require you to have a special event permit to utilize the beach for a private party. If you need one, and don't get one, you may find yourself kicked off the beach or with a hefty fine on your special day!

Answer: It's true, our hot and unpredictable weather can do a number on even the toughest blossoms. You don't need to settle for faux, though, if your heart isn't into it. Faux flowers can be absolutely stunning, but aren't the real thing. Your best bet is to meet with your favorite florist and discuss your best local, seasonal options. When you pick flowers that are native to our climate they're much more likely to withstand the test. Also, be sure to have plenty of vases and water to keep your bouquets and boutonnieres quenched when they're not in use!

Answer: You absolutely should stick to your guns with 'all or none' when it comes to children at your wedding. Invite those important out of town guests, and just be sure to give them a means of childcare (if they don't already have one). You may find that you will even want to send your nieces and nephews back to the hotel for the reception (once they've completed their part in your ceremony). If this is the case, and with the case of out of town guests, you may want to recruit the assistance of a couple of babysitters to create an impromptu daycare. You can reserve a room or utilize a close by friend or family member's home and set up crafts and activities to entertain them while their parents are away. Just be sure to have enough caregivers to take care of the amount of children attending. If you do decide to make the exception and allow the children to come to your reception, your best bet is to still set up an area especially for them, with crayons, coloring books, and even blank table cloths for them to create wedding works of art!

Answer: Here is where tradition and modern weddings can start to clash with one another. Traditionally, the bachelor and bachelorette party are meant to be separate to give you a last 'hurrah' as singles before you get married. Some modern couples do decide to have one, large joint party, especially if they're going for a getaway party (say to Vegas or Ocean City). The important part, though, is that both sides need to agree to a joint party, or no one will enjoy themselves. If your FH doesn't want to, and the main reason you want to is just to 'keep an eye' on him, than I have to agree and say that sticking with tradition is best.

Answer: The most important thing to keep in mind in these circumstances is that this is your wedding. Sure, you want everyone to enjoy and celebrate with you, but it is ultimately your day. If you want a tiny bridal party, that's your right. Heck, if you don't want any bridal party, that's your choice to make. To keep peace with all of your friends/family members/acquaintances, your best bet is to be 100% honest. The women in your life will respect your choices and feel less slighted if they're kept in the loop. You can always still keep them included in the planning, shopping, and choice making if you'd like them to feel involved, but there's no need to make everyone a maid. Save that distinction for the absolute most important person in your life (maybe your sister, cousin, best friend, etc.)

Answer: In general, engagement parties are a great opportunity for freshly engaged couples. It gives both of your families that chance to come together (possibly for the first time) and celebrate the joining of the two clans, as well as to welcome the fiance to the family. As for planning and paying, in general it has always been tradition for the parents of the bride to plan and pay for the engagement party. Today just about anyone can take on the responsibility. (As the bride, though, this is one responsibility that should not fall onto your plate.)

Answer: It's hard to plan a wedding with multiple belief systems in place. It's wonderful that your fiance is allowing you complete control over both family meals, but your best bet is probably to give up planning the rehearsal dinner, as a compromise. Being that rehearsal dinners are traditionally planned by the groom's family, anyway, you handing over the reigns to your future mother-in-law for that would be a normal thing to do, and may save you a lot of battling. As for the wedding, stick to your guns as it is your special day. Just make sure that you have amazing, high quality vegan cuisine that your guests will love (and may not even KNOW is vegan), and then no one will have any room to complain!

Answer: It's more than understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed at the thought of filling out all of your thank you cards, especially before your big day has even happened! You're still in the middle of planning and prepping to make sure that your special day goes off without a hitch! I do agree, however, that it is very important to fill out your thank you cards yourselves (both you and your husband-to-be) for them to be genuine and heart felt. Your thank you cards are going out to the people that love and care about you, and who chose to help you celebrate this important milestone in your life! Instead of getting help writing out your thank you’s, your best bet is to tackle them head on: don't wait until last minutes and don't let them overwhelm you! Write them out as you go and get them out ASAP. That way you can remember each guest and gift to send them an appropriate, personalized thank you card, and you also don't need to worry about writing out 100+ thank you cards all at once and on a deadline!

Answer: Absolutely! There are a lot of ways to help you deal with that pre-wedding stress that we call 'Cold Feet.' First, and possibly most importantly, is to make sure that we acknowledge how completely normal the feeling is, and that it likely has NOTHING to do with second thoughts, but only stress in general. Next is to make sure to make a list of all the fears that may be running around in your mind, causing the stress. If they seem silly on paper, that may end the stress. If they're not, then come up with strategies to help cope. Once that is complete, it's time to delegate some quality, wedding-free time to help you unwind!

Answer: When finding a wedding venue on a holiday, or special calendar day, you have the odds stacked both against you and for you. Believe it or not, some holidays are going to be very lite on weddings, due to guest/family conflicts. This may help you find a location on those days more readily available. On the flip side, however, many reception locations will hold their own holiday galas on those same nights. With a little luck, and a little research, there shouldn't be anything between you and your dream wedding!

Answer: Usually venues will require at least 1 bartender per 75 to 100 guests. Once you include mixed drinks at an open bar into the mix (no pun intended!) you will want to have at least 1 bartender extra! With the resources that are available at your venue, to be on the safe side, 2 bars with 2 bartenders each would ensure that none of your guests are left waiting in long lines at your wedding!

Answer: The price of a centerpiece is always going to depend on multiple factors; the materials used, the intricacy of the pieces, etc. Bouquets have to be taken into account the same way, and can be in the same, if not more, price range as your centerpieces. Most florists and floral designers can help you work within a budget that you set for yourself, and help you plan out the best centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages with that budget. To ensure that you have enough of a budget to cover all of your flowers figure at least $20 per boutonniere and corsage. Allow at least $50 per bouquet, and $50-$100 per centerpiece. A safe(ish) budget for your wedding would be no less than $2,570.

Answer: Coming from a very similar background, and having a very similar issue, I can see where your worry stems from. Ultimately, though, you need to remember that your wedding is exactly that, yours. If you are worried about guests not attending your wedding if it is in a Catholic church and they aren't catholic; don't worry. Non-denominational guests are always welcome in the church to partake in your ceremony, or any other mass for that matter. They just cannot receive communion. If you heart is set on a ceremony outside of the church, however, why not see if your own priest, or another local clergyman, is willing to hold the ceremony on the beach. There are some churches who hold masses regularly on adjacent beaches. Your ceremony is about the religious rite and commitment to your betrothed, not the building in which it is held.

Answer: While “hardcore” rules for who can and can’t be in your bridal party are becoming more a matter of personal preference rather than steadfast “principles”. But, when it comes to flower girls, there do seem to be some “rules to live” by, mostly dealing with age. Ideally flower girls should be old enough to handle the responsibility without being old enough to be part of the main bridal party. According to experts they should be between four and eight years old, although some “sophisticated” tots of two or three can be just as “professional”, especially with the help of a parent or an older sibling. If the young lady in question is older than 8 (especially if she is 10 or older) you may want to reconsider her for a different position, such as junior bridesmaid, and if she’s a teen, she can even be part of the main bridal party. Either way, she should wear a similar style of dress to the other bridal party members (only more subdues to suit her age) and within the same color family. Also, whether she’s part of the party or a junior bridesmaid, she is expected to walk down the aisle in the procession and stand at the alter along with the other attendants.

Answer: While there is no written rule stipulating that you MUST bring a gift, it is commonly understood and often expected that an engagement gift is offered or presented, especially if the couple and their families are hosting a special party to commemmorate the occasion. Some couples have an engagement registry which is usually annoted on the invite. Others look forward to common essentials such as flatware, linens, etc. To be on the safe side however, many simply opt for a gift certificate or good old cash, and how much you give is generally based on what you can afford, where they are hosting the party, and how close you are to the couple in question.

Answer: Customarily, it has generally been the guests responsibility to pay for overnight accommodations arranged by the couple. Most couples seek out a reasonably priced hotel/motel local to the ceremony and reception location and also look to secure blocks of rooms at 'wedding package' rates (which tend to vary seasonally and based on the number of guests). Information regarding hotel (phone number, addresss, directions and date by which reservations must be 'made'/confirmed are included with wedding invites. Guests who plan to attend then personally call the hotel/motel persoanlly and confirm their name (to be checked off against a list the couple provides), number of persons (in the room), date of arrival and departure, etc., giving a credit card number as security and to go toward payment. With that said, many experts feel that since many out of town guests are already extending themselves financially and otherwise, it is a very classy gesture (if financially afforadable, possible, and feasible) for the couple to pay for their stay or at least a portion of it, as well as securing a seperate hospitality suite replete with food and beverage upon their arrival and for some, even a morning after brunch, before sending them on their merry way.

Answer: When most of us think of an outdoor wedding we think of a seaside beach bash or a gala garden party, but few of us think about exchange vows in the park. Yet, some earth girls and guys are beginning to consider parks and arboretums as viable venues for their wedding. According to experts, the best place to start is by selecting a location of your choice and immediately contacting your local parks and recreation department to see what the proper protocol is and if there’s a need to secure a special permit, authorizing you to use the park of your choice for your celebration. Experts emphasize the importance of not only being specific about your intentions and plans but also about the amount of guests you will be inviting and anticipate attending, as well as how many people you plan on working the event. Remember to inquire about alcohol permits, rest room facilities and accessibility, and potential problems such as inclement weather, off-limit areas, restricted hours, other events, parking, etc. Expect a fee for any permit you need to acquire and you may even have to pay a security deposit in case of an accident or unforeseen emergency.

Answer: Yes, there is the tradition of not seeing each other (the day of the wedding) before the ceremony. And I share your excitement of seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle. Here's what happened with a friend of mine who just got married and had the same dilemma. She decided to take her formal portraits before the ceremony. Her reasoning was that everyone was just made up, the flower girl and ring bearer were wide awake and the atmosphere would be relaxed because there were no time restraints. Well, all went better than she imagined. Her fiancé picked her up in a limo (all to themselves) so they had some private time together. She said it was one of the best decisions she made. Instead of being so nervous and not remembering the ceremony she said that being relaxed has made it a lasting memory. So, you have tradition on the one hand and a relaxed and memorable wedding on the other. What will your decision be?