Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Hi... I'm starting the invitation hunt, and haven't found anything that really fits our situation..

We want the traditional

Brides parents
request the honour of your presence at the mariage of
their daughter
to
the groom
son of
mom and deceased dad
blah blah..

the problem is how to work his mother and fathers name..

The only way I can think of is to say ' son of Jane and the Late Joe Smith'

FH doesn't really like how that sounds, we both want his name in there, but I think to put 'son of Jane and Joe Smith' implies he should be at the wedding; and while his family all know that his father is deceased (obviously) my whole family doesnt necessarily know, and since my family is the type to introduce themselves to his mother, I don't want them to ask where his father is, making his mom think more about how her husband isnt there... know what I mean?

Any comments & suggestions would be helpful...

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by siobhanB

Hi... I'm starting the invitation hunt, and haven't found anything that really fits our situation..

We want the traditional

Brides parents
request the honour of your presence at the mariage of
their daughter
to
the groom
son of
mom and deceased dad
blah blah..

the problem is how to work his mother and fathers name..

The only way I can think of is to say ' son of Jane and the Late Joe Smith'

FH doesn't really like how that sounds, we both want his name in there, but I think to put 'son of Jane and Joe Smith' implies he should be at the wedding; and while his family all know that his father is deceased (obviously) my whole family doesnt necessarily know, and since my family is the type to introduce themselves to his mother, I don't want them to ask where his father is, making his mom think more about how her husband isnt there... know what I mean?

Any comments & suggestions would be helpful...

---

We had a similar issue and we did:

DH
son of dad
and the late mom

His aunts (mom's sisters) all really loved that we included her on the invites.

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

i hate to put a damper on your FH's idea, but you can't have a deceased person's name on an invitiation... it doesn't make sense as well as poor etiquette.

i would put
_____________
son of
Mrs. Joseph Smith.

...this will imply that she is widowed while including her late husband's name without having to say late, deceased etc. which really is not appropriate. again this will imply that he is decased.

My FH's mother is passed and we are just puttign son of Mr. George __________.

We are acknowledging his mother in the program, she is on the top of the list in our memoriam page of the program as well as being mentioned among the dead in the Prayers of the Faithful as well as having the Mass said for her. this would give you FH ways to include his Dad.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Etiquette

ETA: This etiquette site says that it is proper to do it any way you have it listed in your poll, including 'the late Mr...'

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

i do not care what ettique says...I want to include both parents on the invite...including his mother who passed so i want to do something like this

Mr. and Mrs. John and Rickie ___
cordially invite you to the marriage of
me to
Mr. Mike ____
son of
mr. mike and the late linda ____

I know she did what she could while she was here, and I want to respect her and honor her on this day, as I know he will be wishing she was there, and that she looks after him from up there.

(edited b/c i felt my words were too harsh)

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

My dad died... i just did Together with our parents... easier that way... our favor was a donation in his memory, and i had memory candles out so that he was part of our day in that way...

for some reason writing 'the late my dad's name' creeps me out... i dont like seeing it that way... jmo....

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by Chrissywish

i do not care what ettique says...anyone who knows my future FH knows his mother was important and she did what she could while she was here, so i will remember her every way possible including the invite...
mine will go along the lines

Mr. and Mrs. John G. Walsh
cordially invite you to the marriage of
me to
michael reilly
son of
mr. mike and the late linda reilly

i dont care what ettique says, while she was here on this earth she did what she could and she looks after him everyday and i am sure of that. so i will pay my respects by respecting her!!!

---

Actually, etiquette dictates that a deceased parent is included on an invitation like this:

When one parent is deceased:
Emma Margaret
daughter of Audrey Johnson and the late Kevin Johnson
and Jack Warren Smith
invite you to join them
in celebrating their marriage
on Saturday, the fourth of June
two thousand and five
at five o'clock in the evening
St. Michael's Church
Orland Park, Illinois

It would be strange to have the deceased parent extending the invite but the way it's written here is 'proper etiquette'.

DH's mom died over 20 years ago but we still wanted to include her in every way possible.

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

FH's mom passed away but that was so long ago. He was 13 when she died.

We actually worded our invitation without our parents' name.

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

my mom has passed and i put her name and in the church program under brides parents i put her name...

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by donegal419

i hate to put a damper on your FH's idea, but you can't have a deceased person's name on an invitiation... it doesn't make sense as well as poor etiquette.

i would put
_____________
son of
Mrs. Joseph Smith.

...this will imply that she is widowed while including her late husband's name without having to say late, deceased etc. which really is not appropriate. again this will imply that he is decased.

---

I am going to agree with this post. My father passed away 6 months before our wedding. As terribly sad as it is/was, a person who is deceased CANNOT (in our case COULD NOT) perform the act of inviting. My mother wanted everyone to know that my parents 'made the wedding' for us and I assured her . Being that he passed so soon before the wedding, there was no question that he would be in the forefront of my family's thoughts. So to honor his name, we had Mom as the primary host as: 'Mrs. Dad's first name and last name'. A widow retains her husband's last name until and unless she remarries or changes it on her own. We also chose to honor my father's memory by having him as the only person on the last page of our program.

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

My mom passed away so I can certainly understand FH wanting his parent's name on the invite.

However, IMO, I think that sounds depressing so I opted for it not to be there.

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by akaMrsT


Actually, etiquette dictates that a deceased parent is included on an invitation like this:

When one parent is deceased:
Emma Margaret
daughter of Audrey Johnson and the late Kevin Johnson
and Jack Warren Smith
invite you to join them
in celebrating their marriage
on Saturday, the fourth of June
two thousand and five
at five o'clock in the evening
St. Michael's Church
Orland Park, Illinois

It would be strange to have the deceased parent extending the invite but the way it's written here is 'proper etiquette'.

DH's mom died over 20 years ago but we still wanted to include her in every way possible.

---

I never saw an ettique thing that had a deceased parent in it...thanks for showing me this. In my case I feel like she wouldn't be extending the invite, b/c it's my parents who will be paying. I just want to put their names on there, b/c I feel like they are still his parents and raised him even if they aren't paying for the wedding

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

We had this issue too...now not to be horrible, but a deceased person cannot invite someone anywhere, so you can't put it at the top of the invite. My DH's father is deceased and this is what we did:

Mary and Floyd L
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kathryn Mary
to
Christopher Michael
son of Judith D
and the late Christopher D, Sr.
blah blah

Now, my in laws were really happy that we included DH's father on the invite.

You can see it in this picture

• 

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

son of Jane and the late Joe Smith sounds the best good luck

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by donegal419

i hate to put a damper on your FH's idea, but you can't have a deceased person's name on an invitiation... it doesn't make sense as well as poor etiquette.

i would put
_____________
son of
Mrs. Joseph Smith.

...this will imply that she is widowed while including her late husband's name without having to say late, deceased etc. which really is not appropriate. again this will imply that he is decased.

My FH's mother is passed and we are just puttign son of Mr. George __________.

We are acknowledging his mother in the program, she is on the top of the list in our memoriam page of the program as well as being mentioned among the dead in the Prayers of the Faithful as well as having the Mass said for her. this would give you FH ways to include his Dad.

GOOD LUCK!

---

not flaming anyone--but it really bothers me when people say 'etiquette' says you CAN'T do something. let's keep it real ladies, if we did EVERYTHING by the laws of etiquette, then i'm sure 99% of all the women on here couldn't get married in a white dress.

i think it's a very nice touch to mention your FH's deceased parent on the invite. if they were still alive, they would be doing the inviting, and just because they are gone, doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. etiquette goes out the window when it comes to someone's feeling about their deceased parent(s).

i do think it should read Mrs. Joan Smith & the late John Smith.

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

My father passed away 19 years ago - I was 10 - my mom did not want we write 'daughter of the late Mr. Piero XXX' - I just left it with just my moms name -

To be honest - it sounded creepy to me - JMO instead we are doing a donation to the Cancer Society and a memorial candle

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by MJDoc12

---

Posted by donegal419

---

not flaming anyone--but it really bothers me when people say 'etiquette' says you CAN'T do something. let's keep it real ladies, if we did EVERYTHING by the laws of etiquette, then i'm sure 99% of all the women on here couldn't get married in a white dress.

i think it's a very nice touch to mention your FH's deceased parent on the invite. if they were still alive, they would be doing the inviting, and just because they are gone, doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. etiquette goes out the window when it comes to someone's feeling about their deceased parent(s).

i do think it should read Mrs. Joan Smith & the late John Smith.

---

i'm weird when it comes to this, sore spot for me, but i just think people who pass away, IMHO, should be included. and either way, whether you like it or not: you can't let yourself go crazy with 'etiquette says'... take it from me, i tried to do that (carried around my annoying etiquette book) and no matter what, STILL got complaints from people about how 'that's not right!! i don't like that, WAAAAHHH' UGH!!! It seemed like the more I did 'by the book' the MORE I pi$$ed people off LOL! I even tried to tell them: 'don't get mad, etiquette said it was OK' and they would just get more mad at me LOL!! So I threw it out the window and decided to go by the 'What makes Danielle and Vinny happy' book-- and if people still complain I don't care because I tell them that it's what me and FH want... so even though I feel the name should be on there, you do whatever in the world makes you happy b/c it's your freaking wedding and don't let anyone tell you different!!!

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

---

Posted by MJDoc12

---

Posted by donegal419

---

not flaming anyone--but it really bothers me when people say 'etiquette' says you CAN'T do something. let's keep it real ladies, if we did EVERYTHING by the laws of etiquette, then i'm sure 99% of all the women on here couldn't get married in a white dress.

i think it's a very nice touch to mention your FH's deceased parent on the invite. if they were still alive, they would be doing the inviting, and just because they are gone, doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. etiquette goes out the window when it comes to someone's feeling about their deceased parent(s).

i do think it should read Mrs. Joan Smith & the late John Smith.

---

i'm weird when it comes to this, sore spot for me, but i just think people who pass away, IMHO, should be included. and either way, whether you like it or not: you can't let yourself go crazy with 'etiquette says'... take it from me, i tried to do that (carried around my annoying etiquette book) and no matter what, STILL got complaints from people about how 'that's not right!! i don't like that, WAAAAHHH' UGH!!! It seemed like the more I did 'by the book' the MORE I pi$$ed people off LOL! I even tried to tell them: 'don't get mad, etiquette said it was OK' and they would just get more mad at me LOL!! So I threw it out the window and decided to go by the 'What makes Danielle and Vinny happy' book-- and if people still complain I don't care because I tell them that it's what me and FH want... so even though I feel the name should be on there, you do whatever in the world makes you happy b/c it's your freaking wedding and don't let anyone tell you different!!!

---

I agree wholeheartedly with this post.
My father passed away 10 years ago and I included his name on my invite (my mom and FILs and FH think its a really great way to honor him) and I am lighting a memorial candle for him with my mom while she escorts me down the aisle.

My invite read. Mrs. My mom
with loving memory of Mr. My Dad
and Mr. & Mrs. His Dad and mom
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children.


Do what makes you feel right. =)

People are always going to have something to say no matter what you do

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by Chrissywish

---

Posted by akaMrsT


Actually, etiquette dictates that a deceased parent is included on an invitation like this:

When one parent is deceased:
Emma Margaret
daughter of Audrey Johnson and the late Kevin Johnson
and Jack Warren Smith
invite you to join them
in celebrating their marriage
on Saturday, the fourth of June
two thousand and five
at five o'clock in the evening
St. Michael's Church
Orland Park, Illinois

It would be strange to have the deceased parent extending the invite but the way it's written here is 'proper etiquette'.

DH's mom died over 20 years ago but we still wanted to include her in every way possible.

---

I never saw an ettique thing that had a deceased parent in it...thanks for showing me this. In my case I feel like she wouldn't be extending the invite, b/c it's my parents who will be paying. I just want to put their names on there, b/c I feel like they are still his parents and raised him even if they aren't paying for the wedding

---

The way it's written here the couple is extending the invitation NOT the parents so it's fine This is the way our invite read as well:

Me
daughter of mom and dad

and

DH
son of dad
and late mom

invite you to join us
blah blah blah.........

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

---

Posted by plainview

---

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

---

Posted by MJDoc12

---

Posted by donegal419

---

not flaming anyone--but it really bothers me when people say 'etiquette' says you CAN'T do something. let's keep it real ladies, if we did EVERYTHING by the laws of etiquette, then i'm sure 99% of all the women on here couldn't get married in a white dress.

i think it's a very nice touch to mention your FH's deceased parent on the invite. if they were still alive, they would be doing the inviting, and just because they are gone, doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. etiquette goes out the window when it comes to someone's feeling about their deceased parent(s).


i do think it should read Mrs. Joan Smith & the late John Smith.

---

i'm weird when it comes to this, sore spot for me, but i just think people who pass away, IMHO, should be included. and either way, whether you like it or not: you can't let yourself go crazy with 'etiquette says'... take it from me, i tried to do that (carried around my annoying etiquette book) and no matter what, STILL got complaints from people about how 'that's not right!! i don't like that, WAAAAHHH' UGH!!! It seemed like the more I did 'by the book' the MORE I pi$$ed people off LOL! I even tried to tell them: 'don't get mad, etiquette said it was OK' and they would just get more mad at me LOL!! So I threw it out the window and decided to go by the 'What makes Danielle and Vinny happy' book-- and if people still complain I don't care because I tell them that it's what me and FH want... so even though I feel the name should be on there, you do whatever in the world makes you happy b/c it's your freaking wedding and don't let anyone tell you different!!!

---

I agree wholeheartedly with this post.
My father passed away 10 years ago and I included his name on my invite (my mom and FILs and FH think its a really great way to honor him) and I am lighting a memorial candle for him with my mom while she escorts me down the aisle.

My invite read. Mrs. My mom
with loving memory of Mr. My Dad
and Mr. & Mrs. His Dad and mom
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children.


Do what makes you feel right. =)

People are always going to have something to say no matter what you do

---

I LOVE LOVE LOVE BOTH OF THESE POSTS!!
Thank you ladies...my mom passed away 1 1/2 yrs ago and i am trying to include her as much as i can w/o making the day a 'downer' because i know she would not want me two.......i think we need to all do what makes US happy and what we feel our loved ones whow are gone would appreciate...jmo