Confused Bride

Just a question. Has anyone ever heard of this? I know a certain bride who is getting married next summer. She booked her date at a reception hall, and now has changed her mind. She feels that her and her fiancee are losing what they had originally wanted and listening to what everyone else wants (parents, friends, etc.). The site is beautiful, but not really what she always envisioned. She felt the wedding should be a reflection of what her and her new husband represent. They love the beach and being outside on the water!! They always spoke about getting married at the beach, or having the reception at a beach type site. What are the chnaces of getting the 10% non-refundable deposit back. I have heard it can be done. The wedding is sixteen months away. Any ideas?

Nicky,

Actually, limo drivers are the ones who seem to always include gratuity as a required extra in their price. The other vendors (video, photography, music, flowers) don't normally talk about gratuity, since it is such a sticky subject. My feeling is that anyone working for someone else (i.e. not the owner of a company/vendor) in a service industry should get a gratuity. The amount should depend on how much time they spend, how much personal attention is given, and how integral their service is to the success of your day. Because it is so haphazard (and unfair to everyone) and most people don't know what to do, I provide a suggested gratuity sheet to my customers for the photographers that work for me (it is available, if anyone wants.)

Confused Bride

A non-refundable deposit is normally just that - non-refundable. Many places will make an exception if it is beyond your control and they can re-book the date without a loss. I'm not sure what they would do if you simply changed your mind. It never hurts to ask.

Actually, limo drivers are the ones who seem to always include gratuity as a required extra in their price. The other vendors (video, photography, music, flowers) don't normally talk about gratuity, since it is such a sticky subject. My feeling is that anyone working for someone else (i.e. not the owner of a company/vendor) in a service industry should get a gratuity. The amount should depend on how much time they spend, how much personal attention is given, and how integral their service is to the success of your day. Because it is so haphazard (and unfair to everyone) and most people don't know what to do, I provide a suggested gratuity sheet to my customers for the photographers that work for me (it is available, if anyone wants.)

Confused Bride

Sometimes if they rebook the date within 30 day they'll refund the $$.

Actually, limo drivers are the ones who seem to always include gratuity as a required extra in their price. The other vendors (video, photography, music, flowers) don't normally talk about gratuity, since it is such a sticky subject. My feeling is that anyone working for someone else (i.e. not the owner of a company/vendor) in a service industry should get a gratuity. The amount should depend on how much time they spend, how much personal attention is given, and how integral their service is to the success of your day. Because it is so haphazard (and unfair to everyone) and most people don't know what to do, I provide a suggested gratuity sheet to my customers for the photographers that work for me (it is available, if anyone wants.)

Confused Bride

I heard once that if you cancel more than six months in advance then they are obligated to give you back your deposit. However, the fact that most halls tell you the deposit is non-refundable makes me question this. When I booked my hall the banquet manager told us that they would give the deposit back depending on the circumstances. I'm not sure if "I changed my mind" would be the best way to get it back, but she could probably think of something else to tell them.

Confused Bride

Rob- You are definitely right. I changed my mind would not be the way to fo about it..Maybe a little white lie.

I heard once that if you cancel more than six months in advance then they are obligated to give you back your deposit. However, the fact that most halls tell you the deposit is non-refundable makes me question this. When I booked my hall the banquet manager told us that they would give the deposit back depending on the circumstances. I'm not sure if "I changed my mind" would be the best way to get it back, but she could probably think of something else to tell them.

Confused Bride

I would suggest she read her contract. It should indicate if there are any situations in which the deposit would be refunded. If not I would talk to the catering hall and see if she can get at least partial refund if they rebook the date. If not then I would cancel now and lose the 10%. It is a small price to pay for having the wedding she really wants.

About 150. I guess that comes out to $1pp. You're right, I probably don't have to tip him.

Confused Bride

nearly never do they give you back the deposit. look at it this way....next time make 101% sure ( and dont book so so far ahead)that this is want you want, before giving any money down. then again you might not get the date you want I dont hold any dates until I get a deposit.In the big picture 10%($500ish) wont look so bad. good luck!

Thanks so much for the response - really put my mind at ease! After I read your last one, I called Adrienne's and they said it should be in end of July-August. Whew! We just booked our honeymoon today (last minute!!..) and things are really starting to roll, all of a sudden! When are you getting married? Our date is November 18th, 5 years to the day of when we first kissed! Talk about Mush!

Confused Bride

1) DEFINITELY she should stay with her own mind and create the wedding that she wants. 2) How long was it since she left the deposit that she changed her mind? (a week? a month? more?) 3) If they book the date, they should at least give her back something.

Best wishes....i know it will all go smoothly. please let us know how it went...CONGRATS

Thanks so much for the response - really put my mind at ease! After I read your last one, I called Adrienne's and they said it should be in end of July-August. Whew! We just booked our honeymoon today (last minute!!..) and things are really starting to roll, all of a sudden! When are you getting married? Our date is November 18th, 5 years to the day of when we first kissed! Talk about Mush!

Confused Bride

It was explained to us from our reception hall that it's Suffolk County law that all but $150 is refundable if the hall is cancelled more than 6 months in advance. After 6 months, there is no refund.

Confused Bride

We had the same clause written into our contract. Cancellation w/i 6 months is a $100 penalty, or 5 % whichever is less. After that you're own according to the contract.

Thanks again to all of the brides, Stephanie Classic Favors & Invitations

Confused Bride

Thanks for everyone's input. She is actually getting married almost sixteen months from now, and I think she booked it in February..I don't know if that matters..But, I thought that since the wedding was still so far away, she should try and find out because they will definitley be able to book her date..and she should go with her gut instinct about what she wants..

I spent $3.50 each for my favors. I got porcelan boxes, assorted in heart shape, square and oval shape. You can either put potpourri or a tea light candle in it. They come wrapped with ribbon. I went to Broadway favors in Massapequa. It worked out well because they also gave me a 30% discount on the invitations.

Suggestions on locations? Themes? Food? Favors?

Confused Bride

Andrea: When I had my first hall, I cancelled the place and wrote a letter explaining that I felt giving them $150.00 for their time and trouble would be fair and then I could receive the rest of the deposit back. They gladly sent it to me. Try that approach

Tipping: Who, When & How Much To tip or not to tip -- that's the *really* big question on your wedding day (second only to "Do you take this woman/man..."). You certainly don't want to stiff the people who are working to make your wedding dreams come true, but how do you know whom to slip a few extra bucks for their hard work? Here are some guidelines.

TIPPING TIPS -- Designate someone to be in charge of tipping -- the host of the event (often a dad) or the wedding consultant usually handles this job, but the best man or maid of honor may also shoulder the responsibility.