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Wedding Present IOU

leeserd Posted: May 20, 2009 05:38 PM+

leeserd MEMBER SINCE: 4/08 TOTAL POSTS : 421 WEDDING DATE: Sep 19, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 05:38 PM

Wedding Present IOU

I have heard that due the state of the economy and many people being out of work, that couples are receiving cards which basically state that the guest is experiencing financial hardship and is therefore unable to give a gift at the time of the wedding but that he/she/they plan to send a gift as soon as their economic situation improves.

Now etiquette dictates that guests may send a wedding gift up to a year after the wedding, so that is fine, but my question is if I receive one of these 'wedding gift IOU's' is it polite for me to send a card thanking the guest for attending my wedding and telling him not to worry about a gift or do I just send a thank you note thanking him for attending the wedding and wait to receive my gift?

I had never heard of or considered this but I only assume that the economy will be worse by the time that my wedding arrives in September so I want to be prepared.

Married girls, have you had this happen? What did you do?

alli3131 Posted: May 20, 2009 05:46 PM+

alli3131 MEMBER SINCE: 3/08 TOTAL POSTS : 3670 WEDDING DATE: May 02, 2009 WEDDING LOCATION: Leonards of Great Neck

Posted: May 20, 2009 05:46 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

This didnt happen to me but I would def. send a thank you card. The thank you should be for attending the wedding.

little34 Posted: May 20, 2009 05:59 PM+

little34 MEMBER SINCE: 3/07 TOTAL POSTS : 7426 WEDDING DATE: Oct 31, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 05:59 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift

Amberrenee6705 Posted: May 20, 2009 06:04 PM+

Amberrenee6705 MEMBER SINCE: 4/09 TOTAL POSTS : 1814 WEDDING DATE: Jun 06, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 06:04 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

I would send a card back thanking them for coming to the wedding.

Tracey1979 Posted: May 20, 2009 06:10 PM+

Tracey1979 MEMBER SINCE: 3/09 TOTAL POSTS : 2572 WEDDING DATE: Dec 12, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 06:10 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift

Agreed - exactly what I would do.

MLAngelo Posted: May 20, 2009 06:24 PM+

MLAngelo MEMBER SINCE: 6/08 TOTAL POSTS : 7841 WEDDING DATE: Aug 08, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 06:24 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

WOW, thats really odd, i never heard of that. Its so sad we all have to get married in this horrible economy.

allegracristina Posted: May 20, 2009 08:09 PM+

allegracristina MEMBER SINCE: 3/08 TOTAL POSTS : 6551 WEDDING DATE: Jun 05, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 08:09 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift

That's exactly what I would do.

MrsJuneB2B Posted: May 20, 2009 08:12 PM+

MrsJuneB2B MEMBER SINCE: 1/09 TOTAL POSTS : 3083 WEDDING DATE: Jun 26, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 08:12 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

hmm... i think i'd do that. i'd just send a thank you for coming type card. whether they send it or not...i wouldn't address it at all. :o)

valthom426 Posted: May 20, 2009 09:45 PM+

valthom426 MEMBER SINCE: 8/08 TOTAL POSTS : 650 WEDDING DATE: Apr 26, 2009

Posted: May 20, 2009 09:45 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Happened to me a few times. I sent a written card just saying thanks for attending and being with us...blah blah blah. I figured, if they mean it, they have a year to send it. If not, whatever.

MrsCM Posted: May 21, 2009 12:44 AM+

MrsCM MEMBER SINCE: 3/09 TOTAL POSTS : 4150 WEDDING DATE: Sep 13, 2009

Posted: May 21, 2009 12:44 AM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

I think I would wait simply because the same etiquette also states that you have a year to send thank yous so why not just send it after receiving the gift imo

Juhgail Posted: May 21, 2009 12:42 PM+

Juhgail MEMBER SINCE: 4/09 TOTAL POSTS : 1362 WEDDING DATE: Oct 24, 2009

Posted: May 21, 2009 12:42 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Posted by MrsJuneB2B

hmm... i think i'd do that. i'd just send a thank you for coming type card. whether they send it or not...i wouldn't address it at all. :o)

ITA. Thats exactly what I would do.

grkbarbie Posted: May 21, 2009 12:58 PM+

grkbarbie MEMBER SINCE: 3/08 TOTAL POSTS : 20681 WEDDING DATE: Apr 25, 2010

Posted: May 21, 2009 12:58 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

i think its BAWWWWWLS if u attend ANY function without writting a check. If you cant afford to be a guest, dont come.

And i love the stiffers that go buy a brand new dress/suit/shoes get hair done and nails.. yet go empty handed. its tacky , and a slap in the face to the bride/groom.

of course, theres always excused cases.. but lets be real,95% of the time , the stiffers are just scumbags.

julesrbf Posted: May 21, 2009 01:05 PM+

julesrbf MEMBER SINCE: 8/08 TOTAL POSTS : 5330 WEDDING DATE: Oct 23, 1995

Posted: May 21, 2009 01:05 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift

This is what I would do. I know that I would feel awful if a good friend/family member was getting married and I felt as if I *shouldn't* go because I couldn't afford a nice gift. I might try to make something as well because I would feel terrible showing up empty handed ... but even if I couldn't, I would still feel happy to be thanked for coming out to celebrate someone's union.

Personally, I think I would understand if someone couldn't afford to give a gift. An IOU is nice, but I'm not getting married for the gifts, so if it never came to fruition, I think I'd be OK with that.

rocketsummer17 Posted: May 21, 2009 01:15 PM+

rocketsummer17 MEMBER SINCE: 9/07 TOTAL POSTS : 8618 WEDDING DATE: Oct 10, 2010

Posted: May 21, 2009 01:15 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Posted by grkbarbie

i think its BAWWWWWLS if u attend ANY function without writting a check. If you cant afford to be a guest, dont come.

And i love the stiffers that go buy a brand new dress/suit/shoes get hair done and nails.. yet go empty handed. its tacky , and a slap in the face to the bride/groom.

of course, theres always excused cases.. but lets be real,95% of the time , the stiffers are just scumbags.

agreed

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: May 21, 2009 01:17 PM+

MrsCastanedain09 MEMBER SINCE: 9/08 TOTAL POSTS : 2495 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2009

Posted: May 21, 2009 01:17 PM

Re: Wedding Present IOU

Posted by julesrbf

Posted by little34

I would send two thank yous...one for attending the wedding and then another one when you get your gift

This is what I would do. I know that I would feel awful if a good friend/family member was getting married and I felt as if I *shouldn't* go because I couldn't afford a nice gift. I might try to make something as well because I would feel terrible showing up empty handed ... but even if I couldn't, I would still feel happy to be thanked for coming out to celebrate someone's union.

Personally, I think I would understand if someone couldn't afford to give a gift. An IOU is nice, but I'm not getting married for the gifts, so if it never came to fruition, I think I'd be OK with that.

I agree with this 100%.