Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

Sorry this is a little long but I need to get it out...

So fh and I should be married already. Everyone, including him thought we were going to get engaged by the end of 2007 and our original plan was a wedding the weekend after Labor Day 2008. But Labor Day of 2007 his father came down with bad headaches. They got worse quickly and after two months of doctors telling him it was in his head they discovered it was limbic encephalitis. A rare disease caused by a floating tumor of lung cancer. Basically your body tries to attack the cancer and the cancer sends out attackers that attack the brain AND reflects your own white blood cells and they too attack the brain. Once they discovered what it was they did back to back chemo and radiation treatments to try to destroy the cancer quickly before it attacked anymore of his brain. He spent December and January in the hospital at U. of PA, non stop, before finally recovering from the cancer. But the damage to his brain is done and its almost like Alzheimer's disease, only it was brought on quickly and not by age. Some people recover from it, but FFIL doesn't seem to be in that percent.

Life went on hold until about May when we finally decided this was not going to change and life needed to go on. In June fh proposed.

Fast forward to this week....

FMIL has tremors that she has had for a while that they claimed were stress induced. But this week she started having pain in her abdomen. Monday and yesterday they did tests and found a lump on her kidney. Meanwhile FFIL needs constant care and is flipping out that FMIL hasn't been around for two days.

FH doesn't know what to do. He is beside himself and its hard because his family is in NJ. Luckily his brothers live nearby, but its so hard. I don't know how to be his rock again, I mean I know I can but it was such a long year getting him through his father and to a point of accepting it. And I feel really bad that our wedding is happening in the shadow of all of this. But everyone keeps telling me were 28, our lives have to go on.

Meanwhile... be careful what you wish for. I used to say I wish I had found an orphan because I am so close with my family and he is so close with his. And being an only child I was struggling with sharing time between the two, especially on holidays. Now I feel so bad I ever said that outloud. I feel like a horrible person.

Thanks for listening... I needed to get that all off my chest because when fh gets home tonight I need to be strong and ready to help him get through this.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

You shouldn't beat yourself up. Of course, if there was anything in your power that you could do to improve his parents' health, you would do it.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and you're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

Awww hun, I am so sorry. I am def keeping you all in my prayers. I don't know what advice to offer you- if it were me, I would probably hold off on getting married or have a quickie ceremony with the whole family. Do what you feel is best. I am sure the in laws wouldn't want you to move the wedding.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

WOW, I am so sorry you and FH and his family are going through this difficult time. I will keep them in my thoughts!!!

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

OMG I am so terrible sorry you and your FH are going through this! Especially during what should be such a joyous time in your lives. I will be praying for both of you!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

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Posted by flairforfashion

Awww hun, I am so sorry. I am def keeping you all in my prayers. I don't know what advice to offer you- if it were me, I would probably hold off on getting married or have a quickie ceremony with the whole family. Do what you feel is best. I am sure the in laws wouldn't want you to move the wedding.

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Thanks we thought about this. But my parents put a lot of money into the wedding so far and bank accounts are tight, but they had this money saved for their only daughters wedding. I couldn't bare to see them lose that money they saved for so long. FH feels the same way.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

I am sorry you guys are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and FH and his family. Try and stay strong you have already been through so much and I am sure it means the world to FH to have you by his side to support him. I know it is rough but It will get better. Don't feel bad that your wedding is going on in the midst of this, like everyone says, as hard and horrible as all of this is, you didnt plan it to be this way and life does have to go on. You can always vent to us when it gets tough, we are here to listen!

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

I'll keep you in my prayers! Be strong!!!

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

Wow, when it rains it pours. I really wish your FH's parents all the best. I know it's hard but you will both get through this and come out stronger for it. It's times like these that makes people realize all they have and appreciate it that much more.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

this isnt your fault that these things happen ... sounds like really bad luck. I think you should still go on with your wedding though. Im sure his mother will be able to be there for you guys.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

i know it may sound strange but has your FH looked into any options. with his mom now ill too. it may be best for both of them if your FFIL was somewhere where ppl could care for him 24/7 like assisted living. if you have any questions feel free to contact me. i work in assisted living, especially with alzhe so i know how difficult that can be on a family. your in my prayers.

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

So sorry you are going through all of this.. I will keep the family in my prayers...

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

There is really nothing you can do for now. Just have faith that everything will work out. I know this is hard or both you and your fh but if you guy can get through this past year you can get through anything together.

Take care/

Re: Just when we thought it couldn't get worse....

Be strong...I will keep you all in my prayers