Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

Hello on a depressing and rainy day (I hope no brides on here are too affected).

I have another etiquette question. There are about 7 guests from whom we didn't see wedding cards from after the wedding. It seems strange from some people like my uncle (really he's a second uncle, my dad's uncle) who I would think would have brought a card but you never know. others are a responsible friend of my husband's and a few other friends of his, and one of my friends who's normally very thoughtful but she came directly from mexico to our wedding so it's possible it was an oversight.

I don't know what to do b/c if they did give a card and gift I would hate to think it was lost (although the reception hall didn't call us telling us they found any afterwards). I don't think it's very tactful to ask about it - esp if it turns out they didn't. I don't want to seem greedy. It's more that it's surprising from some of these ppl.

what do you think?

ps- i like the new sleepy emoticon! i could have used that one during my planning - heck i can still use it!! :)

TIA!

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

Tough call....maybe wait it out. If it was an oversight, you may get some calls. If the cards went missing, the guests will see the checks haven't been cashed and will DEF call you. I wouldn't say anything either...no easy way to handle this one!~

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

yes, I agree. Maybe when you do the thanks you just write thank you for sharing our day with us.

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

oh good - thank you! i just needed a sanity check to make sure i was ok by not mentioning it in the thank you note - i don't want to insult anyone! :)

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

I know this sounds but....etiquitte says that you have a year to give a wedding gift....

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

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Posted by KRISTIND

I know this sounds but....etiquitte says that you have a year to give a wedding gift....

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A YEAR!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

I think I would wait it out too. Totally based on the family dynamics - I might mention it to a close person of that guest who would know if they brought a gift... but I am sure that would be tricky. Honestly, otherwise I would leave it alone. I would hate to be in a situation and ask and they actually did not bring anything... JMO

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

A few years ago, I received an email from the bride whose wedding I attended the previous week asking about missing gifts...to be honest, I had forgotten to bring the card to the wedding and meant to mail it. Needless to say, I was not the only guest put off by the tackiness of the email....one of my friends was so put off she decided to give much less than she would have.

IMHO...

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

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Posted by riapots

A few years ago, I received an email from the bride whose wedding I attended the previous week asking about missing gifts...to be honest, I had forgotten to bring the card to the wedding and meant to mail it. Needless to say, I was not the only guest put off by the tackiness of the email....one of my friends was so put off she decided to give much less than she would have.

IMHO...

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Yikes! I'm glad I asked. my gut feeling was that it's tacky, but I just wasn't sure b/c of the aspect of not wanting something to be lost if that was the case.

I just followed the other brides' advice and said 'thank you for sharing our special day' etc in the note.

Thank you all for your help and advice

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

Since you got married last month, you might have just a bit more time to send out thank you's (or at least maybe wait on them?) so maybe try to wait it out just a little longer? maybe they forgot to bring it with them and just keep forgetting to mail it (I have a friend who would've probably forgotton to mail it for a year)

if not, is there a family member who can maybe feel out the situation for you?

Re: Advice about wedding cards that might be missing

We have a few people on our 'Missing in Action' list and I'm not really sure what to do about it either. It's been more than a month since the wedding. We're about to send out Thank You cards and I'm just going to indicate that we are thanking those, who didn't give cards or gifts, for sharing our special day.
I know that etiquette says that it's acceptable to give a gift within one year after the event, but I think it's really tacky to attend someone's wedding and not bring a gift or immediately send one. I personally could not imagine attending a wedding without a gift/card in hand.