How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I was wondering if anyone has any advice or formula on how much money to give as a wedding gift? I have 3 friends getting married within a month not to mention trying to save for our own and pay bills. I did my own formula were i caculated the cost of our wedding with everything including reception, church all vendors, and favors are costing us and came out with a number where they would make a little money. Is this fair, i don't want to be cheap at all i want to give a fair amount. Does anyone have any advice?

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

It depends how close you are to these people. We are going to a wedding in november and are planning on giving $250 since we are not that close to them if you are very close i would give $350 (but i always give more i should)

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

During the tough times saving for a wedding, people should understand that you might not be able to give what you'd like to. In the past, we'd at least try to cover our plates (around $200-$250). Closer friends would get more. But at this point, anyone I know getting married is $hit outta luck

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

One of FH's friends got married and had the reception in resturant, we felt very generous giving 300 from the two of us.

Depending on the venue I would give more, to help cover my plate.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I generally give $250 - 300 and if I am close to them I give more.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

JMO: well, usually in the northeast.. esp NY... the "unspoken rule" is that people try to give a gift that would approximately equal the plate charge (if they can) I try to give $250-$300 as a couple b/c I know that most weddings are costing $100-$150 pp.
I went to 2 weddings at Oheka Castle and by no means was I covering the expenses they incurred there. I gave my best friend $400 that day but I know others gave less and that's ok too.

some people find it offensive to talk about covering the plate.. but I just think its a starting point to an appropriate gift along with what you can afford (more or less $)

there is no way you can factor in all the other expenses of a wedding into a gift... and it's not neccessary. The amount the B/G spend on flowers should have no bearing on my gift. KWIM.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

FH and I stick to about 250-300 as well... if we are super close or it's family then we'll give more. Everyone will understand that you ARE planning your wedding...so if you can't afford that much, for ALL the weddings...give what you can and then tell them that you would like to take them out for dinner...our to putt-putt... that you'll help them move ...
FH and I went to a wedding 2 months ago in which we could only afford 200...litarlly...and we are sooo close with them...so we enclused little coupons printed out ni ely.... helping them move.... babysiting their daughther. It's priceless but it helps out...and they are still turning them in to us... We had to treat them to dinner two night ago... Just a thought if you can't afford to give what you want...only to the ones that are real close...HOpe not to confuse anyone...HAHA... And it really does depend on your relationship with the bride/groom...

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I think about 300 is average to put in an envelope. If they are close to you 350-400. We also have 4 weddings coming up in the next two months, they are all good friends of ours and we have to stay at a hotel bc they are all the way out east (we are from Queens).....FH jokes that we're gonna take $ out of the envelope to pay for the hotel....

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

it really depends on who they are. We had close college friends getting married 2 weeks before us, but they are not from the east coast. DH insisted that we buy them a registry gift and not give money, because that's what is considered "proper ettiquette" out there, but we gave a pretty generous gift (their wusthof knife set). i had a 25% off coupon and with shipping it came out to ~ $300. (if they were from NY I would have given more, esp since DH was in the bridal party, but he assured me that for that region of the country it would be a very generous gift)

Friends here? It would depend on who they are and how close we are... and I'll probably take into consideration what they gave us too.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

It really depends on who's wedding it is but I never give less than $150. For family and really close friends I try to give more if my finances can allow it.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

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Posted by fashiondiva

JMO: well, usually in the northeast.. esp NY... the "unspoken rule" is that people try to give a gift that would approximately equal the plate charge (if they can) I try to give $250-$300 as a couple b/c I know that most weddings are costing $100-$150 pp.
I went to 2 weddings at Oheka Castle and by no means was I covering the expenses they incurred there. I gave my best friend $400 that day but I know others gave less and that's ok too.

some people find it offensive to talk about covering the plate.. but I just think its a starting point to an appropriate gift along with what you can afford (more or less $)


I agree.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

Not that close we give $250

Close we give $300- $350

These gifts will come back to you at your wedding. You should pay for your plate at least.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I give $250 in general family/close close friends $350

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I gave $300 for friend last year

$500 for sisters' 2 years ago

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

People that I am not that close to I give 250-300. My two best friends got married in March and Apriland I gave 500. My brother got married last year and I gave hijm 1,000, but that is because we are close.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

This all depends on really YOUR finances.

Standard in NY is to try to cover your plate, but I'm sure that whatever you give them will be well appreciated.

Just a side--I had someone actually TELL me what the minimum we should be giving is to their wedding...I was floored and appalled. Apparently, they are banking on the guest list to not only pay for the wedding and the honeymoon but for them to also make money out of it.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

i just went to a wedding last weekend and we gave 300

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

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Posted by MyFairLaLa

This all depends on really YOUR finances.

Standard in NY is to try to cover your plate, but I'm sure that whatever you give them will be well appreciated.

Just a side--I had someone actually TELL me what the minimum we should be giving is to their wedding...I was floored and appalled. Apparently, they are banking on the guest list to not only pay for the wedding and the honeymoon but for them to also make money out of it.

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Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

If somebody told me how much i have to give them for their wedding, i would purposely give less and wouldn't care or think twice about it!!

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

250 and up

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

We usually give around $300 as a couple.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

we give 300-500 depending on our relationships.

if one person in the couple is one of our friends (i.e. the bride is my friend, or the groom is his) we usually give 300.

if both people in the couple are both of our friends we usually give 400.

for family or if we are in the bridal party we give 500.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I feel cheap now haha. I've only been to 2 weddings in my adult life, one was a colleague of FH, and the other was my sister. We gave the work friend 150, but it was a sunday afternoon and FH wasn't too close to him at the time. It turns out we exactly covered our plates, but being as they had it at the same RH as we are having ours, and they're invited, I'm hoping they don't return the favor on our saturday night!

I gave 200 to my sister, but I was also MOH, so I felt it was appropriate given other costs incurred, and at the time I was still in college and waitressing.

I'm going to 2 weddings in 09 before ours, one of which is a friend of mine, who i was in her bridal party until she moved the date up considerably, and changed it from a RH to a restaurant. The timing was just really bad for me to scrounge the money to hold up my BM responsibilities, so I excused myself of them. I feel a little guilty, so I'll probably end up giving a very generous gift to make up for it, and also considering that it's a restaurant now.

The second wedding is FH's third cousin, but they're fairly close, and she actually told us how much she was paying per plate. Not to be like u must give me double this! but more like yeah isn't it crazy how much this stuff costs, i'm paying X. Now I almost feel obligated that we have to do double that, and it's a very big number, eep. It all boils down to, you just do what you can.

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

uh oh... let me break out the for this topic!

Re: How much money do you give as a wedding gift?

I would usually give about $350 depending on finances and who's wedding it is.. FH and I just went to a wedding last week and we gave $600 because the groom was one of my best friends growing up and he is in my wedding party.. Plus, he's the only guy friend I have that FH actually likes That's alot though.. It really all depends on who and where but I would never give less than $250.. I hope people are that generous at my wedding (ON SUNDAY!! AHHH)