Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

OK, I am an Assistant Principal (many of you know this) and close with many of the people at work
I had about 5 tables of people at my wedding

I have told SOME people at work that I am very close with that I am pregnant, and I had to tell my principal

now, while speaking to one girl that I am particularly close with, I mentioned that I would probably tell everyone before school ends, or they'd be in for a big surprise in September

I had said that possibly at our last grade conferences of the year I would tell them since I think it would be best for them to hear it from me, rather than word of mouth - she starts saying that word of mouth is better and that it would be weird and inappropriate for me to announce it at a grade conference

I mean, this is not something I could really hide - I'm not announcing that I'm moving in with my gay lover
Am I wrong to think that there is nothing inappropriate about this? I dont really see where she is coming from

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

i know working in schools for 10 years and once being in a close school i think the word is probably already around. But I see nothing wrong with stating it at your last meeting.

I know my ap told us she was getting married at a dept meeting

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

well, word is NOT around
only my principal, the other AP and this one friend know

people may speculate, but i have not told anyone else

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

I think that its really up to you! I think that the teaching profession allows for a very positive environment for women (and men for that matter) to have families and that everyone will be supportive no matter what. It isn't something that you need to worry about announcing or people finding out. It seems like you want to tell everyone because it is something you are excited about not something that you are worried about. Do what is most comfortable to you.

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

thanks
i just feel:

1. hurt and annoyed that she would be so nasty in her comments to me

2. people deserve to hear it from me; not through the grapevine

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

---

Posted by heathermatt

i know working in schools for 10 years and once being in a close school i think the word is probably already around. But I see nothing wrong with stating it at your last meeting.

I know my ap told us she was getting married at a dept meeting

---

i agree...if u already told anyone, i guarantee word is already around...so theres nothing wrong with telling the teachers 'officially' at the grade conference

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

Congratulations on your upcoming event. However, I agree with your colleague that it would be inappropriate to announce it at a grade conference. I am a teacher and I know, at least in my school, once someone knows you are pregnant, word quickly gets around!
Also, I think you might rethink your comment: 'this is not something I could really hide--I'm not announcing that I'm moving in with my gay lover'. If someone told me that they were moving in with their gay lover, I'd congratulate them and wish them the best.

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

what i meant is that THAT would be no one's business, and COULD be hidden

nothing to rethink

a pregnancy is VISIBLE; is what i meant

as far as word already getting around; only my principal and the other AP know, and this one 'friend'

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

i do not think you are wrong.. i def say that you should announce it then. I think your faculty will be thrilled and honored that you shared it in such a way.

And at least you get to have all the congrats at once and not have to deal with everyone coming up to you little by little saying congrats

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

bump!

i know there are more teachers out there

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

You're not wrong, I wouldn't raise any eyebrows if my AP were to do that...this might be far-fetched but perhaps she is resentful? I know pregnancy can be a sensitive issue for many people, maybe that's why she reacted that way

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

I think that you should announce it at the meeting.

I personally dont like to hear things through the grape vine.....especially something like this! If I heard it from the grapevine, I would be hesitant to congratulate the person whereas if I heard it directly, I would congratulate them.

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

---

Posted by WinterBride08

You're not wrong, I wouldn't raise any eyebrows if my AP were to do that...this might be far-fetched but perhaps she is resentful? I know pregnancy can be a sensitive issue for many people, maybe that's why she reacted that way

---

thanks, that is what my mom said

i just think that i owe it to people to tell them personally, and i think its rude to 'let them hear it through the grapevine' JMO

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

I don't see why you couldn't announce it at a grade meeting. I work in a very small program so if you tell 1 person...you tell everyone. If you are an AP in a big school...it's easier to get it done all i one shot. I think they will be SOOO happy for you!

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

I think you should announce it whenever you want to - it's your pregnancy and your an AP!! As long as your principal knows, which you said he/she already knows.

I think it would be sort of fun though to come back in September with a belly- then you don't have to say anything, but that's just me

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

I work in a large middle school and I know that word tends to get around or at least in my school. I think its great if these few people have been quiet about your pregancy and respecting your right to tell everyone. I know for example in my school its never a secret long (a good friend wen t and told the principal about it and by the afternoon almost half the staff had congratulated her on her pregnancy). Personally I think how you tell people about your pregnancy is completely up to you.

At our school they use our faculty meetings to make congratulatory remarks to members of the staff all the time. Staff members announce engagements, marriages, graduations, awards, pregnancies and births. It not only allows a person to tell everyone in one fell swoop but it gives everyone a chance to have a bit of a celebratory moment at work. I don't think there is anything inappropriate about making your announcement.

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

thanks!
i dont even know why i am second guessing myself - i think im more upset about how my 'friend' was speaking to me

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

I don't think that it's a big deal. Plus you're obviously excited about it! As long as you're comfortable with it then why the heck not?!

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

---

Posted by Snowflake08

thanks
i just feel:

1. hurt and annoyed that she would be so nasty in her comments to me

2. people deserve to hear it from me; not through the grapevine

---

I'm also an AP and I feel you should absolutely tell them yourself!!! You obviously can't be best friends with all of the teachers but you don't have to be the kind of administrator that keeps everyone at arm's length to be good at your job. Actually I think by NOT telling them, that is more inappropriate and would be viewed as more offensive from the teacher's perspective than anything else. They probably would want to know and will be so happy for you!


Congrats!

Re: Ladies - I need opinions /advice - Teachers especially

Take charge of your own business and tell them yourself! We have 3 pregnant teachers at school right now and two who just had babies. We all talk about it all the time. People will be happy for you. I want to know why she thinks it's inappropriate!