One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

That's great, except for the fact that I can't afford to go to Vegas in two months! We are spending so much on our wedding that we are on a very tight budget. I thought we may be able to work it, you know just go for 2 days, and when I told FH, he said 'no way, we can't afford a trip to Vegas 2 1/2 months before our wedding! We can't go.'

How could I tell her that even though she is in my wedding, I won't be able to come to hers? She knows that I'm spending alot, and I feel stupid to say that I can't afford hers. I mean I would be pissed off if someone she said that to me, I would be like 'Oh, you have tens of thousands to spend on your wedding, but you can't come up with a few hundred to come to mine'. I feel terrible. What should I do? It will cost minimum $900 to attend her wedding between hotel, food and airfare.

Help!

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I think you should go if there is anyway at all that you can get the $$. On the one hand, it's only 2 months away, so it's short notice on her part, which makes it difficult for people to plan. But on the other hand, you said that you would be upset if you were in her shoes and she told you that she couldn't go because of $$. And, she is your BM so you must be close. She might be disappointed if you are not there. What if you went by yourself? That would cut costs.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I agree with Nina - try everyway you can to go...stay in a cheap hotel (not one on the strip), use miles for flights, or check out hotwire.com for deals. And avoid expensive dinners.

You're more likely to regret not going, then crunching to spend the money.

Maybe you can borrow it from family? As it gets closer to the wedding you'll get wedding gifts (checks) from folks not attending that you can use towards the trip.

As a last resort, put the cost on a no fee, no interest rate credit card and pay it off after the wedding (not a great recommendation, but it is an option).

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I would go too...You can go by yourself and share a room with a friend or two...Nowadays there are so many cheap flights to vegas that I bet you could get one for under $300...and believe it or not, but you can get hotel rooms at nice hotel rooms on the strip for under $100 a night...

So you could do it by yourslef for under $500...If you were to buy a BM dress...shoes...shower...bachelorette party...gifts... it could be the amount anyway!

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

taraalissa - if you decide to go, try looking at http://www.americawestvacations.com

My FH and I went on a weekend trip to LV this year and booked through them...they had very good prices on air/hotel packages at almost any hotel. Also, we didn't have a single problem with the flight or hotel. I really shopped around when we went to LV b/c we were on a tight budged and they had the best deals we could find. You should be able to get air + hotel for about $375 or more per person (depending on the hotel) for one or two nights (it's not much different for 2). Hope the suggestion helps!

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I would make every effort to go -- even if it meant going into a little credit card debt for a while. The money situation is temporary, but hopefully your friendship is not, and you wouldn't want to regret not going down the road.
To cut costs, maybe you could go by yourself or with other friends & you wouldn't have to buy 2 tickets. Also, I know some people don't like them, but Southwest flies to Las Vegas, and I'm sure its pretty cheap. You shoudl also be able to find cheap hotel accommodations. I can't imagine las Vegas is exactly hopping in August, its got to be like a million degrees. Last summer my friend got a hotel room at the Tropicana for $26/night. Hope that helps.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I think it depends on a few factors - how much of your wedding are you paying for and how far off your wedding is. Your friend has given you VERY short notice, so I am sure she will understand if you can't afford it because you are paying for your own wedding and it is around the corner.

My FH are leaving tomorrow (yay!) for a friends wedding in Bermuda. We booked last summer becuase her invitations went out over a year before the wedding and we had plenty of time to save. But when we got engaged in December, we rethought the whole thing. We decided to go becuase we had saved up most of the money and our wedding is not until next July. But I totally understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I think about all the other people we could invite to our wedding if we weren't going

If you really can't afford it, your friend should understand.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

taraalissa
vegas is very cheap. try your best to go, or else it may cause hard feelings between you two.
if you really CANT afford it, sit her down face to face and tell her. if shes a true friend shell accept it.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

If you want to go, you should go. Personally, I'd cut another corner on my own wedding if I had to (no favors perhaps, computerized calligraphy, or something) and I agree with those who have suggested going alone and sharing a room to make it work. Personally I don't think two months notice is unreasonable for a Vegas wedding. Best of luck, I know this must be tough!!! *HUGS*

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

Just so you know, I would check with all the airlines that fly into Vegas because a lot of times they will send one of their planes to Vegas because it's needed for an outbound flight from there, and usually, those flights going are 1/2 empty because they usually don't outright offer seating on them unless you ask for it. Also, you could fly stand-by and get the ticket for less. Good Luck

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I would try to go too. Airfares are decent right now and there are so many hotels in Vegas, you can get a really good deal there and the food is cheap, so you should be ok.

Besides, a little vacation before the wedding could be a good thing and on top of that you get to see your friend get married!

Good luck!

Karen

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I've exhausted every option, checked every airline, and even if I went alone I wouldn't be able to afford it. There is no one to share a room with anyone as she is only having immediate family and they are all married couples. Even if I went alone I just cant spare that kind of money right now. Airfare will be around $300, hotel will be $100, Food will be a considerable amount, and what will I do while everyone else is seeing a show, or gambling in the casinos? Not to mention that I still have to give a gift on top of that.

Our budget is so tight, that we are probably not even going on a honeymoon. I feel bad, but as my FH pointed out, she hasn't done one thing to help with my wedding, and can't expect me to pick up and fly to Vegas on a few weeks notice two months before I get married.

I know that everyone has been saying I should try to go, but I guess in all honesty, i'm looking for you guys to make me feel better about not being able to go.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I don't think it's terrible if you can't go. I think if anything else, that she would totally understand the monetary issue. Tell her that under normal circumstances that you would be there in a flash. But, that since you can't - you would like to make it up to her & her fiance and take them out to dinner or something when they get back from their honeymoon at a nice restaurant. Hope this helps!

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

If she is one of your close friends I would still try to get there-- even if she didn't help too much with your wedding she still had to buy a dress and stuff. There are inexpensive places to eat and drink in Vegas and if you feel the need to gamble just take out $20 and play slots--

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

taraalissa, if you really cant go just do like i said-sit her down, face to face and tell her. the taking them do dinner part & a gify sounds nice. do that.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

I think since you've tried to find a way to go you should talk to her and explain the situation. I agree that if she is a good friend she'll understand. She will have her family there to support her. And, when I think of a wedding in Vegas, I think of a last minute plan, which means that it will be difficult for many people to go. Since your friend only planned it 2 months in advance, she must be expecting people to say they can't come. Otherwise, she would have given more notice. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

If she is your bridesmaid, then you must be close. You really have to find a way to go. Vegas is one of the cheapest destinations out there so there must be a way - even if you have to put it on your credit card. You don't get a second chance to go to her wedding no matter how inconvienent it is for you to go.

Re: One of my bridesmaids just called to tell me she is getting married in August in Vegas!

Hi I had a similar situation last year. We have been saving a long time for this wedding, but also they were laying off at my job as well. Anyway a friend of mine all along was planning her wedding for almost a year and told me it would be in NYC. Well about a month before they changed it to Michigan. I couldn't get the money to go. I felt so bad. Up to this day I am regretful that I missed her wedding. When I went to get tickets they were running somuch. Then I needed hotel money and food and a gift and I just couldn't find it. I bought them a gift and she raved and raved about it. They both loved it so. I bought something off their registry by the way. They had a very expensive wedding as well so I think they were more in my shoes and understood. If she is really your friend she will understand. My friend and her husband are coming to my wedding and they are playing music for us as well. I say all this to say if she is really your friend she will understand. I did everything to try and goto this wedding but things just didn't work out. You say you may not even havea honeymoon so I am thinking you are on a very tight budget and your friend would understand when she sees your situation. Also I don't know if you and FH are paying for everything yourselves, but with me our parents have helped alot so my freind can not say we spent such and such. We are having our wedding through a collaboration of our family. We couldn't afford it otherwise.