Wedding Etiquette

Few Questions Regarding Proper Wedding Etiquette...

1. If you are invited to a wedding and cannot attend, do you still send a check for the full amount to the couple getting married?

2. Do you give the same gift to a couple for a destination wedding as you would if the wedding was on the island?

3. If someone has a wedding at a really fancy place, should you give more money than you normally would?

Thanks for your advice.

Re: Wedding Etiquette

I don't know about etiquette... but I can tell you what I do.

If I can't attend - it is usually because I don't want to go. And in that case I probably don't have a particuarly strong attachment to the couple. I give something - but generally not as much as I would if I were going to be there.

OTHER than that... I give what I can afford.

Usually - if I go to a wedding I give between $400 and $500 for me and FH together. If I am flying solo I give between $200 and $300.

I will give a bit more to people that I am closer to.

I would never go to a destination wedding because I don't think I would be able to afford it plus a gift.

I don't give more for a 'fancier place'. I give what I can regardless of whether it is at the Knights of Columbus or OHEKA castle.

Re: Wedding Etiquette

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Posted by JennyJim

Few Questions Regarding Proper Wedding Etiquette...

1. If you are invited to a wedding and cannot attend, do you still send a check for the full amount to the couple getting married?

2. Do you give the same gift to a couple for a destination wedding as you would if the wedding was on the island?

3. If someone has a wedding at a really fancy place, should you give more money than you normally would?

Thanks for your advice.

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OK, I'm not sure about etiquette either but here is what I usually do...

1. If I can not attend the wedding and it's a friend I would probably send them something. Probably not as much as I would if I attended. If I don't really know them that well then I probably wouldn't send them anything.

2. No I would not be able to afford giving $$ and attending the destination wedding, I would probably buy them a small gift from their registry.

3. I would give the same amount of $$ whether the place was fancy or not.
XOXOXO
Kitty

Re: Wedding Etiquette

Personally.... If I get invited but cant come, I send a check, but not what I would have given if I went to the wedding.....

As far as a destination wedding...I think it depends....I was invited on one this summer, but it was a 7 day cruise and the last day was the day of a wedding I was a BM in....so I passed on it. However, I would have gone, and given a gift, but not as much as if it were on the Island as you're already spending $$ for air/hotel/etc....


As for the location of the wedding....I take a lot of things into consideration when writing out the check. Now that I'm saving for a wedding, its become harder to give what I would want to give if I werent counting every penny. I DO consider where a person is having a wedding, what day of the week it is....and most of all, who is paying for the wedding. If I know that a couple is paying for the wedding themselves (not their parents) I will usually try to give a little more....

JMO

Re: Wedding Etiquette

Thank you for all of the feedback. With all these weddings coming up, I want to make sure that I do the right thing.

Re: Wedding Etiquette

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Posted by rojerono

I don't know about etiquette... but I can tell you what I do.

If I can't attend - it is usually because I don't want to go. And in that case I probably don't have a particuarly strong attachment to the couple. I give something - but generally not as much as I would if I were going to be there.

OTHER than that... I give what I can afford.

Usually - if I go to a wedding I give between $400 and $500 for me and FH together. If I am flying solo I give between $200 and $300.

I will give a bit more to people that I am closer to.

I would never go to a destination wedding because I don't think I would be able to afford it plus a gift.


I don't give more for a 'fancier place'. I give what I can regardless of whether it is at the Knights of Columbus or OHEKA castle.

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You are very generous!!! But yes in todays world $300. is the minimum to give if you can afford it, if not, then give what you can afford. You cannot expect your guests to pay for your wedding, you invite them because you want them there and hopefully they realize how much you spent and give accordingly.

Re: Wedding Etiquette

I don't know what proper etiquette is either but I pretty much agree with the other girls. If I can't go, depending on how well I know the couple, I'll usually send them a check for a lesser amount than if we actually attended, a DW I would probably get them a gift off of the registry as well and I never take into account where people have their weddings. I give the same gift no matter what (unless I have to pay $$ to travel, get a hotel, etc.) not b/c I want to but I just can't right now.