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Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

hummm sounds like fun!... kinda have the same situation! FSIL was always awesome and we got a long great, lately i feel like it is just being nice now... FMIL trash talks behind my back and now i am thinking FSIL does too.. she did the same to her now SIL during her other brothers wedding planning, i thought it was because she wasnt her biggest fan... FSIL and i are friends so i didnt think she'd do that to me but as far as i know she has and it hurts, but i am not letting it bother me!?!?!

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

First, don't leave your FH over this! I highly suggest you speak with your FH over this. If he is to become your husband, he needs to support you and protect you from all angles, including from his own family, just as you would do for him if it was the case for your own family.

As unwelcoming and rude your ILs seem to be - how does your FH feel about all of this? He should help act as a mediator to all of this, so you can all enjoy the wedding planning and then the big day itself!

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

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Posted by ewickens

First, don't leave your FH over this! I highly suggest you speak with your FH over this. If he is to become your husband, he needs to support you and protect you from all angles, including from his own family, just as you would do for him if it was the case for your own family.

As unwelcoming and rude your ILs seem to be - how does your FH feel about all of this? He should help act as a mediator to all of this, so you can all enjoy the wedding planning and then the big day itself!

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I had the exact thing all typed up but it wouldn't post. I don't think that asking them not to come will help anything at all. As much as I wanted to strangle my SIL day of, I obviously refrained because it would've just made things worse.

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

Why dont you sit down and talk to them - not accusatory - just state -

I'm feeling like something has come between us lately, and its breaking my heart. I know I could be wrong and stressed from the wedding, but I miss that closeness we used to have - is there something wrong that maybe I missed because I've been so busy?

If you are sincere and place it on yourself rather than be accusatory with them, they will open up to you. Dont get angry and dont fight - be mature and address it with them - you are going to be in their family forever - you dont want this stuff to mount!

Good luck and update us!

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

Why dont you sit down and talk to them - not accusatory - just state -

I'm feeling like something has come between us lately, and its breaking my heart. I know I could be wrong and stressed from the wedding, but I miss that closeness we used to have - is there something wrong that maybe I missed because I've been so busy?

If you are sincere and place it on yourself rather than be accusatory with them, they will open up to you. Dont get angry and dont fight - be mature and address it with them - you are going to be in their family forever - you dont want this stuff to mount!

Good luck and update us!

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Thanks, we are meeting up tonight, all three of us to talk things out...they werent talking to me at all, so I got the ball rolling by sending an e mail to both of them explaining things, telling them I love them both, and I miss the relationship we once had. Well that blew up in my face, I recieved a very nasty response from my fmil...but my fsil sent me an im saying we need to talk about this..so I will let you know how things go tonight..I can barely keep my composure typing this...I just hope I can be strong when I am there with them

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

I am sorry if I am being rude, b/c that is NOT how I mean this, but what exactly is the problem? They thought you were bad for not sending out thank yous. You said the shower was July 29th? It hasn't even been a month, that isn't bad.

Also, maybe (and I am NOT sticking up for them) they are wedding-ing out. My In-laws did nothing to help plan my wedding, at all. Just like yours, they made it more difficult. And you know what? I didn't expect them to. I know they offered to help, but they aren't bound by law to do that. It is YOUR wedding to FH in every respect of those two words, you can't always assume people want to or can help, even if they say they will at some point in time.

Lastly, TALK to you FH about this, as the other girls have said, you guys have to be a team and have to work together. You shouldn't be comtemplating leaving your FH over stuff like this b/c in the long run, these are NOT major crisises. Listen, I feel your pain FOUR days before my wedding we weren't sure if MIL was coming (and my DH doesn't even speak to her now, 6 months after the wedding) and it was DRAMA. But, like I said, in the long run, it is not the end of the world.

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

I am so sorry about this!!! Please let us know how things go after you talk to them! I pray it all works out

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

So sorry to hear this! I can understand, planning a LI wedding can be more stress then one can really imagin, esp dealing with inlaws. They sound really harsh! Dont pay any attn to it go about your biz and finish your plans and forget them. Its about u and him!!!!

Re: Is it wrong to ask fmil and fsil not to come to our wedding?

i completely understand how you feel....I thought about calling my wedding off b/c of DH's family's behavior. But here's what you've got to keep in mind:

You're not marrying FMIL or FSIL. You're marrying your best friend. Sure, the other two come with the package but you can always keep them at an arm's distance.

Just keep your eye on the prize