hugs please - mom making planning difficult

my mom and always have butted heads. since we told her we were going to get married she's been making everything so difficult for me. i feel like as soon as we told her, she's been sucking all the fun out of the planning. i've cried more than anything since we gave her the news b/c of her comments and requests. she wants to be involved in everything and doesn't want anyone else (no bm's, moh, or even fh's family) to be involved at the same time. she wants everything to be me and her only.

i really wish i could just run away and then all she'd have nothing more to tell me how to do and with who i am allowed to do it. i've told my bm's more than once, after i asked them to join us in doing something, if they would mind not coming b/c my mom wants it to be just the two of us. now i'm sitting at work, crying like a little kid, b/c she's sucking all the fun out of it. i hope i don't sound like a spoiled brat b/c i'm not. it's just so difficult to not be able to enjoy the planning of the wedding.

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

my mom is also making planning less than fun. my friends all said the same things when they got married. i think its just par for the course, unfortunately. just keep looking towards the finish line when you are married happily!

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

is she paying for the wedding, if so then i guess you just have to try to deal with it and look forward to the actual day, if not then you have some leeway with her to have who you want involved with the planning

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

I'm so sorry that your mom is making things difficult

You should seat down and tell her how you feel. I don't think she would be happy knowing you are so unhappy with the way she is acting.

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

i hear ya. my mom is doing the same thing. she just doesn't wanna let you go. this is her last time she will ever be able to tell you what to do basically. talk to her and work things out.

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

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Posted by Audreygirl

my mom and always have butted heads. since we told her we were going to get married she's been making everything so difficult for me. i feel like as soon as we told her, she's been sucking all the fun out of the planning. i've cried more than anything since we gave her the news b/c of her comments and requests. she wants to be involved in everything and doesn't want anyone else (no bm's, moh, or even fh's family) to be involved at the same time. she wants everything to be me and her only.

i really wish i could just run away and then all she'd have nothing more to tell me how to do and with who i am allowed to do it. i've told my bm's more than once, after i asked them to join us in doing something, if they would mind not coming b/c my mom wants it to be just the two of us. now i'm sitting at work, crying like a little kid, b/c she's sucking all the fun out of it. i hope i don't sound like a spoiled brat b/c i'm not. it's just so difficult to not be able to enjoy the planning of the wedding.

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are you SURE we don't have the same mother because my mom has been doing the SAME EXACT things to me!!

if you need to talk...FM me ANYTIME..

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

awww
It is terrible what she is doing. I am so sorry.
You need to find a way to cope with it better because, I hate to tell you, she is not going to change, and if you let it destroy you, it will.

I am getting married in 3 days. It started when I got engaged. She had her hands in everything and I cried all the time. She called it 'her:' wedding and she demanded everything... even forcing me to keep my FI from being involved in the wedding plans. I have cried almost every day for 10 months. CRIED. Now she has just done the last thing to ruin my wedding. she emailed my sisters and told them how terrible i am. I am ill, i have lost weight, and i cry all the time.

You CANNOT change her. I went into this thinking she would be different, that she would 'behave' herself for my benefit. I should not have expected that. There are no easy solutions except that you have to be strong and never let her get in the way of this time for you. And NEVER let her get in the way of the relationship you have with your FI.

You will get through this, but it is clear that you need to do what is best for you. Don't rely on other people to do what is best for you because with a wedding... everyone is very self interested. What will their friends think?? blah blah blah.

Best wishes to you. FM me if you need anything

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

Hi I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with your mom...Unfortunately my mom and I are not on speaking terms but I am sure if we were she would be the same way...I feel for you and I hope things get better! FM if you need to vent....Smile!

Re: hugs please - mom making planning difficult

i'm sorry to hear about all your troubles with your mom.

i'm actually having the opposite problem. it seems like my mom doesn't want to be involved, even though she tells me differently. she doesn't believe in e-parties (it's just a way to get gifts, she says), so she said she'd have a bbq so both families could meet. well, that hasn't happened yet (we've been talking about this since march and there is always another excuse!) plus, she's making planning difficult, always having 'things to do' on the days that i'm available to do things. i'm praying that she will finally come around ... she did tell me we can start to dress shop on saturday, but we'll see how long she can last (she's not much of a shopper)! all i want is her to be excited for me!

not sure which is worse ... a too involved mom or an uninvolved mom! hang in there and keep your chin up! we're all here for you if you need to chat!