UPDATE: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

that cause drama or added stress? Do you just chose not to deal with it or take the bulls by their horns?

Update: My issue: It's much more than a planning issue. I can't really get into specifics on here b/c you never know who lurks.. but I will say that it's not even about the planninng, b/c these certain people are not involved, nor want to be, they have already stated a year ago that they will not be contributing to any part of the plannning.. so when I heard this I said FINE NO PROBLEMO!!

This is about... MAJOR DRAMA they are causing..implying that if "things" are not resolved they will not be coming to our wedding.. when I say "things" I mean lies that they are fabricating and saying that I said over a year ago, wondering why I am not exactly coming over and visiting so much these past couple years..to this I will have to say.. "WELL, I HAVE NOT BEEN FEELING EXACTLY ALL WARM and WELCOMING INTO THIS FAMILY THESE PAST YEARS"!!!! with all the horrible comments and remarks.. and chose to stay away b.c of them and the unwelcomed feeling I get makes me want to stay away! and you want me to visit more and make nice nice.. ?? WHY so I can come there and be verbally abused all frikkin DAY? NO THANK YOU!!! All this horrible treatment?? WHY? I have done nothing but extended my hand to them time and time again and been nothing but nice and the remarks that were made were extremely uncalled for and out of line!

All I have to say is thankfully I love him enough to stick around.. b.c really sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up and saying FRIG THIS I don't even want any part of this whacked out family!! I'm out!!! BUT.. I am stronger than them, I am not going to let them break me like they want me to!

BUT LET ME Tell you girls.. I am sooooo on edge lately.. I am about to really FLIP out... and I have to keep reminding myself to remain calm..

Anyhoo.. thanks for letting me vent...

Message edited 7/20/2006 6:30:46 PM.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I give it right back to them! I'm at the point where I will take no one's BS and I will give it right back to their faces, even if it's my own mother and in-laws. I don't need to plan my wedding according to what other's want, as long as it's what FH and I want!

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I B*TCH to my friends, and try to pretend I am not bothered, even though I really am. Also, I talk about the wedding to those who make me feel like a bride and who are genuinely happy..... those who make me feel bad, I choose not to include.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

Caramel Apple Martinis!

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I have decided that I am only doing this once and want to enjoy it. Those who want to stress me out or make me feel bad I just ignore.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

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Posted by Tria1110

Caramel Apple Martinis!

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Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I do both depending on what the issue is. This is the kind of stuff that makes me wish I got married on an island!

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

No problems! I killed them already.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

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Posted by sr081906

No problems! I killed them already.

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Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

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Posted by sr081906

No problems! I killed them already.

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Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

AUGH! Killing them would be a lot easier!!!
Problems are already arising for me even though it is 714 days away!!!

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

At this point I would love it if they would just stop being so damn evil and kniving. I hate liars and people who make up things, and lie about things you said which you know very well you did not. I can't stand the fact that I have 4 months left and all was quiet and now they are bringing up crap which is soooo petty and so silly that I really am very upset by it.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

It depends on what it was. If it was something that has the potential to ruin something major, I laid it on the line in a clear way so there was no misunderstanding (the guest list, outfits for the BP, etc.)

But everything else, especially if it was just words that stemmed from selfishness, jealousy, or negativity, I just ignored. DH was my sounding board for this and once we talked about it, I let it go.

There's no use getting agitated about people who are so entrenched in their own drama that nothing you say or do will ever change them. Just better to let them fester in their own unhappiness. Live and let live, ya know?

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I try to give it back, but indirectly. A polite F U as FH, would say.
it.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

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Posted by mrspapagorgio

I have decided that I am only doing this once and want to enjoy it. Those who want to stress me out or make me feel bad I just ignore.

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Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

Depending on what the stress is, TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS...I had one complaining about the dress color, another wanting to wear gloves, His mom starting in on me about family from out of the country, just remember one thing. It is yours and your FH's day. Not thiers. All that matters is that you, him and the officiant show up. That is all. All the rest is icing on the cake.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

White Zin does my justice... and some tears.

I am at my breaking point that I am going to start firing back

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

my first marriage MIL was a real hoot, she called me after we had the wedding just about planned, we had picked a date, and were getting vendors in order. Anyway, she called me and said you know FH's brother and his FI want to get married the week before you and I was wondering if you could switch you wedding day. UMMMMMM how bout NO. She made it a pleasant planning experience from there on out, she made my RB pillow, and instead of the lace i bought she put some nasty, old, yellowed lace on it. FH did not even stick up for me. I should have gone running at that point, he was the same way, very controlling and uncaring. I just chose to let it go at the time but now I wish I would have grabbed the bull by the horns.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I have been ignoring everyone who has been bothering me. I am very stressed and recently I hae been blowing up about everything. It's better leaving eveerything alone right now.

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I get most of my stress from FH family...the limos, and rides, and invites going to the wrong address, and not having addresses....it's annoying. I try to ignore them, and understand they haven't participated in a wedding in over 20 years so it's understandable to make a big deal over EVERYTHING....where as my family had 5 children and we've all gotten married in the last 10 years. My family members are seasoned wedding goers so to speak!

Re: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

Message edited 7/20/2006 6:31:18 PM.

Re: UPDATE: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I noticed before and after my engagement "friends" are calling me and dumping their $hit on me and venting their problems about their men.. and not even bothering to ask me how I'm doing and how's the wedding planning etc... So I learned to keep them at arms length and keep the convo short... little phone contact and even shorter contact with e-mails. Unfortunately, some people around me are selfish, inconsiderate and warped! so this is the best way for to handle this.. by staying the H E L L away!

Re: UPDATE: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

I am taking Xanax as needed!

Re: UPDATE: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

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Posted by alioop4282

I am taking Xanax as needed!

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Re: UPDATE: How are you girls handling the stresses of certain family members

Bump