Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

FH has the bar exam next week and is really starting to stress. Anything I can do to help?

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

i have no idea - i have never taken the bar. but i would suggest like any other big day - try to prepare yourself as best possible.

make sure you sleep and try to do some light exercise to alleviate some stress. and if it gets 2b too much - call a friend and grab a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze for awhile.

i am sure you will do just fine - and i wish you the best of luck!!

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

Does he have flashcards?
Maybe quiz him on those. Otherwise try and keep things quiet and let him focus on the task at hand!

Wish him luck!!

WHen FH took the bar thats what I did.

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

I'm taking it next week and I'm super stressed. The best thing you can do is nothing. It really stresses me out when FH asks how the studying is coming along and it stresses me out when he says not to worry, I'll pass. I do like it when he brings me food, that way I don't have to cook or go out to get something but it really bothers me when he won't leave. If you don't live together then maybe you could just drop off the food at his house and leave right away. I would also love it if FH would come over and do my laundry. I don't have time to do it but thats just wishful thinking, I know he would never come up with that idea on his own. You could also buy him some pencils and earplugs for the exam.

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

Oh My GOSH! I'm going through the same thing- my fiance takes the PA/Jersey exam next Tuesday/ Wednesday/ Thursday and then we are getting married the following Friday. He's going crazy, I don't know what to do to calm him down. Between wedding stress, moving, and this exam he's having like a meltdown. Anyone have advice for us?

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

When I was preparing for my CPA exam and was super stressed, there was a few things I did

1) DO NOT study the day before the exam (if you do not know the material by then , you will not know it )

2) go to sleep early the day before the exam

3) take a hot long bath to relax and clear your mind

4) do not eat a heavy breakfast before the exam


Good luck to you FH

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

The best thing I can tell you to do is to leave him alone. When I was studying I would literally jump down the throat of ANYONE who tried to talk to me while I was studying. I had a very specific routine, and anything that disturbed it only caused more stress. In fact, I actually left my home for 4 days before the exam b/c my routnie was disrupted and I didn't want it to happen again. That caused me more stress than anything.

If he has a schedule - stick to it. If he doesn't - just ignore him until after next week.

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

I have agree that there's really not much you can do aside from getting him food and leaving him alone. I took the bar last year and I had to tell DH to leave me alone and not talk to me unless I talk to him first because I was so stressed. Don't worry, he'll be back to normal after the bar. You can always start planning something fun to do after the bar exam to celebrate. Good luck to him and everyone who's taking the bar!!

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

We do live together. I'll bring him some food tonight! I just really don't know what to do when he somes out of his study hole and is talking about how stressed he is. Nothing I say helps, that is for sure!

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

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Posted by Suzannebride

We do live together. I'll bring him some food tonight! I just really don't know what to do when he somes out of his study hole and is talking about how stressed he is. Nothing I say helps, that is for sure!

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Don't feel bad that nothing you says seems to be helping. Unfortunately at this stage nothing anyone says will help, so you don't have to take it personally. By next Thursday he will be done!

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

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Posted by maybride03

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Posted by Suzannebride

We do live together. I'll bring him some food tonight! I just really don't know what to do when he somes out of his study hole and is talking about how stressed he is. Nothing I say helps, that is for sure!

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Don't feel bad that nothing you says seems to be helping. Unfortunately at this stage nothing anyone says will help, so you don't have to take it personally. By next Thursday he will be done!

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I can't wait!

Re: Lawyers- what to do about pre bar freakout stress?

Ah, I went through this last year at this time. I took NY/NJ and it was really stressful. What my then fiance (now husband) did to help me out was make sure I had everything I possibly needed. He made sure I was eating, purchased snacks for me for the bar exams, he let me freak out, cry and just be. At this point your DF should have taken at least one practice exam. (Hopefully he has taken more than that -- I took 4 practice exams last year between graduation and just before the bar exam). How did he do? Has he gotten progressively better? Has he looked over the practice exams? That was a huge help for me. He should be memorizing the black letter law like crazy. He should be able to spit back at you every flash card. Perhaps you might want to sit with him and you hold the flash cards and give him the word and he should give you the rule and then do it in reverse where you give the rule and he has to give you the word. I recall being told that there are areas of the multistate I would know (and do) better on than others and so that I should focus on those to maximize my points. It worked.
Good luck to all of you taking the bar exam and to your DFs who are taking the exam.
It really is a horrible exam, but hopefully he will only have to do this once.

ETA: Most of the time I wanted to be left alone to study. But if you really want to help, just try to be a calming influence, and do EVERYTHING for him this week so all he has to do is think about studying. Litterally premake lunches, make dinners, do the laundry, buy him all the pens, highlighters, candy, drinks, earplugs, pack for him for the night between the exams, leave him be, and don't ask how he is doing. He is stressed. Oh and back,foot, shoulder rubs are great too.