bridal shower irritation....UPDATE AT BOTTOM

I am in a wedding this summer for one of my friends....there is only three bridesmaids, one who has two kids under the age of three, my and the other girl are OOT ( wedding in CT) She is keeping it small ( under 80ppl). FOr the shower we were planning on doing a small afternoon tea party at my parents house in CT, there is going to be about 20 ladies. The bride called us up and said that she doesnt want it at a house, she wants it at a restaurant, and she expects us to pay for it ( she doesnt have any family to pay for anything, they are paying for everything themselves) NONE OF US HAVE THE MONEY TO DO THIS... If we did do it at a restaurant it would be a minimum of $600.00 and thats for some cheezy place, I know that I can do a beautiful job at my home.. are we being too selfish or do you think its ridiculouse for her to ask us to dish out all this money when we dont have to?? like I need this right now

Re: bridal shower irritation....

I say have it at your house. If she doesnt like it then she doesn't have to come. I get that it's her day - but not everyone has the money to throw an elaborte shower!!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

Have it at your house. I'm sure it will be beautiful! My shower was planned to be at my house (not a surprise) by my MOH & my daughter (one of my BM). None of my family helped pay for it & 3 other BM didn't but my DH gave my MOH some $$ to help fund it because he said It was my day & he wanted it to be special for me. You must do what is within your means to do.

Re: bridal shower irritation....

Have it at your house! I think house showers are really nice! Especially with the money difference. I'm sure doing at your house will be a lot of work and to not appreicate that is a bit BRIDEzILLA-ish, IMO (we need an icon for that!)

Re: bridal shower irritation....

My parents have a goreous post and beam house and a HUGE back yard, we were going to do tea and sandwiches, pasta salad and a vienese table for desserts, The way I see it, I can spend more money on decorations and favors, then if we had to waste money paying for food that we dont think will be good anyway... AND we can drink as much as we want without having to worry about a bar bill

Re: bridal shower irritation....

Have it at your house. She's going to love it no matter what. Plus you can tell her that you had it at your house in order to surprise her!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

sounds like a beautiful idea having at the house,,,, i found out about mine, its next week and they are having it at a chinese buffet for $11 per person,, im not mad im sure whatever they do itll be nice. i would have rather it been at someones house,, i just feel like its more personal.
the only thing im irritated about for mine is i have 5 bridesmaids and 1 moh and they are all splitting the bill which comes to about $70 per person. i dont have a mom to pay for it, yet they are making it like its a big inconvience for them. i told them not to get me a gift and make the shower my gift,,,,i dont think its fair that they should even be complaining to me about paying for it
im sure whatever u do she will appreciate it in the long run

Re: bridal shower irritation....

First of all, I think it was extremely rude of her to tell you where to have her shower. She should be happy to be getting one at all!
That being said, Secondly and for no reason other than the first, I would do it at your house, not only b/c she doesn't want it there, but to show her how absolutely beautiful and fun it can be!!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

i think she is very rude. no good friend would want her bridesmaids to go into debt over a shower. your plan sounds beautiful and you should go for it!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

why dont you have it at your house and get some food catered from her favourite restaurant?

Re: bridal shower irritation....

Are you kidding me? She should be glad you are going out of your way to have it at your PARENTS house. She really shouldnt be dictating to you where to have it because technically it should be a surprise. And I would feel bad about expecting something like that. I feel bad enough asking my BM's to pay to have their hair and make up done!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

thats what Im trying to tel the MOH... she is a big softie, im the beaoch when it comes to these things... i have no time or patients for spoiled brats...i love her to death but she is being totally unreasable.. and we were going to get really cute flowers, favors, tea pots, tulle around the yard, some soft couches in the gardens, instead she wants to have it at some dumpy mexican restaurant where they dont even have wine and soda included in their package.. ( i cant be around these ladies all day and not have a drink!!)

Re: bridal shower irritation....

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Posted by VadersBride2006

First of all, I think it was extremely rude of her to tell you where to have her shower. She should be happy to be getting one at all!
That being said, Secondly and for no reason other than the first, I would do it at your house, not only b/c she doesn't want it there, but to show her how absolutely beautiful and fun it can be!!

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I couldn't have said it better.

Re: bridal shower irritation....

Hold it at your house and explain to her that you had everything planned and ready to go.

Re: bridal shower irritation....

thanks girls... i think im just gonna go home and do it at my house and if she throws a tantrum the she can kiss it because your right, she should be lucky to be getting one at all.. and on top of it all she isnt even registered anywhere!!!!!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

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Posted by abs711

I say have it at your house. If she doesnt like it then she doesn't have to come. I get that it's her day - but not everyone has the money to throw an elaborte shower!!

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I totally agree!!!! You can only do what you can! And she needs to be appreciative!

Re: bridal shower irritation....

Sounds like she is having a bridezilla moment.

Re: bridal shower irritation....

i can't believe she had the nerve to tell you she only wants it at a restaurant. tell her you don't have a money tree in your backyard. and to suck it up and be appreciative she is even having a shower

Re: bridal shower irritation....

I don't think that you're being selfish at all. if you don't have then you just don't have it, BOTTOM LINE! i think that you should explain to her you guys situation so that she will be prepared to have it at your house.

Re: bridal shower irritation....

The bride shouldn't have any say in where the shower is going to be held. It should be a surprise. Since you are throwing it, you can have it wherever you want. I say have it at your house, what you are planning sounds so nice. I actually have a better time at home showers than showers at a restaurant. If she is dissapointed, that's too bad. It is rude of her to expect you to have it at a restaurant when she doesn't know your financial position. She should be happy with whatever you give her. If not, too bad.