Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

In cases where a woman has kept her maiden name, have you ever heard of the couple giving their kids the maiden name as the last name? So the father would have a different last name from the mother and kids. No previous marriages/divorces - the couple just thinks her last name sounds nicer than his.

Do you think this would cause confusion? Weird reactions? Would people assume anything? (even though I'm sure most of us agree that people should not be judgmental about such things.)

I'd love to hear about any personal experiences with this type of thing, or even anything similar. We're trying to figure out what will make the most sense for us.

Thanks!

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

Never heard of it but if it was up to me my future children would have my last name it's so much better than his!!!!!!

I say go for it if he doesn't mind

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

He is the one really pushing for it! He's always hated his last name. I understand it, although I personally don't think it's that bad - mine might be slightly 'better'/easier. I don't really feel super strongly either way - just trying to figure out what will work best for all of us in the long run.

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

My mother was married before she married my father, my two brothers from her first marriage had her maiden name, and I have my fathers name. My eldest brother changed his name to his fathers last name when he was 15. People look down on it thinking that my mother has 3 kids with 3 different last names..not knowing that they are both from her first marriage. What about hyphenating the childs name?

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

I think it's a great idea why does it matter what name they take. As long as you two are happy

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

I'll do you one better. I know a guy who hated his last name and took his wife's name after they got married. Would your FH consider that?

However, in answer to your question I don't think that there is anything at all wrong with your children having your last name, or a different last name from their father.

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

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Posted by BRod-Cheng

I'll do you one better. I know a guy who hated his last name and took his wife's name after they got married. Would your FH consider that?

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Got another. I know someone whose brother and wife got both their names legally changed to a new last name that was a combination of the two names.

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

Unfortunately, hyphenating the names gets pretty long and doesn't sound so great.

As for FH taking my last name... I brought up that idea too but he isn't ready to buck social norms THAT much.

He's not really into changing his name at all, which I can understand. Too bad, because there could be some pretty funny combos of the two names.

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

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Posted by princessofci

My mother was married before she married my father, my two brothers from her first marriage had her maiden name, and I have my fathers name. My eldest brother changed his name to his fathers last name when he was 15. People look down on it thinking that my mother has 3 kids with 3 different last names..not knowing that they are both from her first marriage. What about hyphenating the childs name?

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princessofci, do you feel like your family ends up having to explain the situation a lot? do people just assume something without asking?

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

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Posted by sweetie

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Posted by princessofci

My mother was married before she married my father, my two brothers from her first marriage had her maiden name, and I have my fathers name. My eldest brother changed his name to his fathers last name when he was 15. People look down on it thinking that my mother has 3 kids with 3 different last names..not knowing that they are both from her first marriage. What about hyphenating the childs name?

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princessofci, do you feel like your family ends up having to explain the situation a lot? do people just assume something without asking?

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We end up explaing it A LOT! It breaks the norm and people have a hard time accepting it. Whenever we had friends over, they didnt know what to call our parents, Mrs. L (her maiden name) or Mrs. H (my dads name)

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

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Posted by BRod-Cheng

I'll do you one better. I know a guy who hated his last name and took his wife's name after they got married. Would your FH consider that?

However, in answer to your question I don't think that there is anything at all wrong with your children having your last name, or a different last name from their father.

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me too!! i know a couple who now are known by HER name.

lol i guess the decision is all up to you guys. for me personally--i know i would just have to have to my kid's last names to be that of the father's. while i am debating keeping my maiden name--i know for sure that any children i have will be his name. i guess that's just a way i was brought up...that the children should have the man's last name. (i know that is sooo not all PC , but what can you do?)

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

I personally wouldn't do this. I'm happy to take FH's name.

My former bosses son got married a few years ago and took his wife's last name. His family was so upset about it - he went from Weinberg to Garcia.

Re: Advice needed: Giving kids the mom's maiden name?

i have seen it done, I like it but I wouldnt do it because my last name would sound terrible. I will most likely be hyphenating and my children will have my husband's last name