Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

This Originally was my reply to the 'Who's Walking down the Aisle', but i I decided to make it a new topic:

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ahhh.. so grateful for this post - I can use some advice in this department. I was going to walk down with my sister and father.

To make a long story short.. my father abandoned me when I was younger and we just started building our relationship over the last several years. He promised to help me pay for a portion of the wedding w/o me asking and now is back pack peddling. I feel that this was his one chance to act like a father after not having him around for 17 yrs of my life and he didnt deliver. Is wrong of me to just have my sister walk me down, who had been through it all and have him sit on the sidelines.

Any advice will be helpful, a part of me feel like he's not worthy. Thanks a bunch - dont want to be a downer

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

You're not being a downer.
What would make you happier? To have your sister walk you down or your father? From your post, it sounds like you would much rather have someone who has supported you throughout all of the good and bad in your life and that having your sister at your side would be the perfect choice.

I forgot to give you a and

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

You're not being a downer.
What would make you happier? To have your sister walk you down or your father? From your post, it sounds like you would much rather have someone who has supported you throughout all of the good and bad in your life and that having your sister at your side would be the perfect choice.

I forgot to give you a and

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Thank you so much for your advice.. I was going to have both my sister and father walk me down. Now I feel like it should just be my sister, but I wasnt sure if I was being mean by taking him out.

Here's a & to your approaching wedding. You must be so excited - I wish you & your FH the best!!

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

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Posted by smara


Thank you so much for your advice.. I was going to have both my sister and father walk me down. Now I feel like it should just be my sister, but I wasnt sure if I was being mean by taking him out.

Here's a & to your approaching wedding. You must be so excited - I wish you & your FH the best!!

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Thanks so much!

I don't expect you to go too into detail about it but from what you have said, I don't think that it would be mean. This is one of the biggest days of your life and I'm sure that your sister would feel honored to share it in that way. Besides, he's still going to be at the wedding.

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

This is a place where you should do what FEELS right to you.

I had a girlfriend whose father passed away several months before her wedding, and although her mom was alive and she had two brothers, she walked down the aisle alone. If her dad couldn't walk her down, she wanted to be alone. It was what felt right to her.

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

what a crapy situation I don't know what you're going through but my fh has a similar problem. He would tell you to just have your sister from the begining. But like what everyone is saying do what you feel in your heart! This is a memory you will always have and you should be happy with it, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

Good Luck!

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

I think you should have whoever you want walking you down the aisle, walk you down the aisle. Don't have your father walk you down the aisle because you feel obligated to ask him. Decisions made based on feelings of obligation are often regretted. Do what feels right and what makes you happy.

Good luck!

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

I am in the same situation as you - my father isn't going to be at the wedding, I asked my step-father to walk me down the aisle. Do what makes you happy.

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

my dad and i have had a weak relationship at best, and, like you, backed out of a huge financial committment he had made to me, not the wedding though. although he is my father, he will not be walking me down the aisle. my mom will. she is the one who raised me, the one who was there for it all, and the one i owe everything to. don't feel like he has to escort you b/c it's tradition or something...follow your heart

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

Thanks girls for all your advice and support.. You really put it into perspective for me. I appreciate it!!

Thanks again.. these boards are so helpful!!

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

Someone I know went thru the same situation you are going threw now. She started to have a relationship with her father again, it started to go good, then went soar. He passed away before she became engaged. Her mom and her started to fight during her wedding planning and at her bridal shower, her mom did not he act happy for her. The day of her wedding, she walked down alone because she chose to.

I think walking down with your sister would be better because she has been thru it before. I would want someone who loves me and supports me rather than abandon me to walk me down. If your father doesn't shape up, then you follow your heart.

Re: Need Some Aisle Advice -Estranged Dad

Do what feels right to you...I'm sure your sister would be very honored!! Good luck!