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Hamptonsbride06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 12/04 1912 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/21/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
So if you remember, I have had moh drama in the past, well Thursday I had plans with MOH (who still hasnt seen my dress, nor know what her dress looks like) and fsil to go to the bridal shop and order their dresses. Fsil is going away the day everyone else is going, and MOH wanted to see me in the sample dress, which I am not putting on ever again! Long story short, thursday morning when i called to tell her I was leaving the house to pick her up, she informs me she made other plans..sorry..I was really upset at the time, fsil is extremely upset, and thinks I should demote her, because when everyone looks at the programs, they are going to think she did a lot of work, when really the person who does everything for me is one of the other bms. Today I call her to see when she would like to go get measured for her dress. She is complicated because she goes to school in Buffalo, while this is her last semester, we have to order the dress while she is home now, if we wait until may, there is a strong chance it wont come in on time. She informed me she has no money for something this unimportant, if I went to put down the deposit she will come with the other girls on the 8th. I want to take her to lunch and just sit her down and talk to her about what is going on with her. This is the second or third outbreak of negativity in the past 2 months!
Update So I get in touch with her today and ask her if she wants me to lay the money out for her, and that I can understand and she can pay me back whenever, but this is the last hand out..i cant afford it anymore. Well I was not expecting what came out of her..." I am not going to pay for it, and if you wont I am going to back out" so I am quick tempered and came back with " awesome I only wanted to take you to lunch so I could ask you to step down" yea bad move on my part I know, so I continue to tell her that I just dont feel we are as close as we used to be, and I miss the friendship we had before I was engaged. I also told her about my new financial responsibilites, and how I just cant afford to pay for things the way I used to, well anyway she comes up with this story about how one of my bms,( who will be replacing her as moh) is lying to me about everything and shes mad that i dont confront her. As far as i knew, she has never lied to me, it just sounds like an exscuse to start another fight, so I told her that I just dont have room in my life for a friend like this anymore, and that I will always cherish the friendship we had, but it has been long gone, and that I feel I have been buying her friendship for a long time, and with that she hung up on me. So overall I lost my MOH tonight, but gained a lot of self respect
Message edited 1/1/2006 9:28:13 PM.
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Posted 12/30/05 4:54 PM 
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jes81276
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 3/05 1896 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/21/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet at Willow Creek
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset?
If my MOH said that she didn't have the $ for something so "unimportant" I would immediately let her know that I don't want someone in my wedding who feels that the most important day of MY life is unimportant to her! She doesn't deserve to be such an important part of your special day. Good luck!!
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Posted 12/30/05 4:56 PM
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L&M2006
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 8/05 1653 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset?
It totally stinks that she is acting this way. I know what it's like to be in college (in Buffalo, in fact) and not have too much extra money to spare - but I would never act in that manner or be so difficult. Of course, I would have been saving money from the moment I was asked to be MOH, but nonetheless I would be supportive, enthusiastic and helpful. If you had to choose your bridal party and MOH today - would you still pick her, or would you pick one of the other BMs? She definetly needs a talking to b/c you need to know where she stands.
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Posted 12/30/05 5:05 PM
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Hamptonsbride06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 12/04 1912 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/21/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset?
Posted by L&M2006
It totally stinks that she is acting this way. I know what it's like to be in college (in Buffalo, in fact) and not have too much extra money to spare - but I would never act in that manner or be so difficult. Of course, I would have been saving money from the moment I was asked to be MOH, but nonetheless I would be supportive, enthusiastic and helpful. If you had to choose your bridal party and MOH today - would you still pick her, or would you pick one of the other BMs? She definetly needs a talking to b/c you need to know where she stands.
I would understand if she said that if I came out of nowhere with this, but I told her in November! If I had to re-pick my bridal party, I dont think she would be in it. We have been very very close for the past 9 years, like sisters, she practically lived with me this past summer, it was great, but from the time I got engaged up to now, she just seems very distant...
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Posted 12/30/05 5:09 PM
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JPC1125
Friendship=the key to marriage
Member since 6/04 5052 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/25/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset?
"unimportant" to her= "goodbye" to me
Kick her out- you need someone by your side to help you, not hinder you
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Posted 12/30/05 5:10 PM
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L&M2006
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 8/05 1653 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset?
I would at least talk w/ her and see what she says/how she reacts. It sounds like she's got a little bit of the jealousy bug and she needs to decide if she's going to let it come b/w your friendship.
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Posted 12/30/05 7:07 PM
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08/06
Board Enthusiast
Member since 6/05 221 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/31/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset?
"She informed me she has no money for something this unimportant"
I have to admit, I didn't read the other posts but this quote alone would make me want to say f-you but what I'd probably do tell her if my wedding is unimportant, she is no longer a part of it. Good luck w/ this one!
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Posted 12/30/05 7:12 PM
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Hamptonsbride06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 12/04 1912 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/21/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
bump for update
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Posted 1/1/06 9:36 PM
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jes81276
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 3/05 1896 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/21/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet at Willow Creek
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Posted by princessofci
bump for update
Wow- I just read the update...although it really stinks that it ended this way, there must be a part of you that is releived to have this unnecessary burden off of your back. Good for you for letting her know how you felt...everything happens for a reason, and from the sound of it she definitely does not deserve the honor of being your MOH.
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Posted 1/1/06 9:41 PM
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xcalystax
Call me Mrs. M ! :)
Member since 11/05 2639 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/17/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
OMG!!! That is horrible that it had to occur with your MOH, but it is definitely for the better....just thinkin how much more easy/enjoyable everything will be now that you don't have that pile of negativity to deal with. 
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Posted 1/2/06 12:37 AM
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glinda_goodwitch
I married my best friend...
Member since 3/05 8735 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/17/2006 5:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
I'm so sorry!  I know it's hard to lose a part of the bridal party, but it's better in the end. You need an MOH that will be supportive of you, and it sounded like she wasn't.
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Posted 1/2/06 2:05 AM
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shellibean
2 years and counting!!!
Member since 10/05 1109 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/27/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor (A+)
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
It took so much courage for you to have that conversation, and it sounds like you did the right thing for yourself. Now when you look back @ your wedding and your new MOH, you are going to be happy it was someone who cared about your wedding as much as you did!
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Posted 1/2/06 8:30 AM
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MattsBride
Married over a year! Oh My!
Member since 11/05 2925 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Galaxie Caterers
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Posted by shellibean
It took so much courage for you to have that conversation, and it sounds like you did the right thing for yourself. Now when you look back @ your wedding and your new MOH, you are going to be happy it was someone who cared about your wedding as much as you did!
I totally agree!
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Posted 1/2/06 10:11 AM
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BKtoLI
Some things just never change
Member since 6/05 8519 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2006 4:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A++
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
I'm so sorry Jenn that you had to deal with this. It's true when they say when you have a life changing experience (wedding, baby, etc.) that you really find out who your true friends are. I know it's hard for you to break off the friendship after so many years, but on the same token, you have rid yourself of that negativity that you do not need at all!!
She has shown her true colors after everything you've done for her. (I remember your other post about her.) It sounds to me like she was ungreatful, jealous and spiteful. Who needs a friend like that anyway?? And for her to basically say "well if you want me to be in your bridal party, then you have to pay for my dress" is BS!!
You were the bigger person and you deserve to be happy, and it sounds like you now will be with the changes you've made!!
Message edited 1/2/2006 10:29:36 AM.
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Posted 1/2/06 10:28 AM
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sarahbelle
Old Married Lady
Member since 11/04 4160 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/8/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor A++++
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Wow. I think you did the exact right thing. I am sure you will be happier with a new MOH.
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Posted 1/2/06 10:46 AM
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L&M2006
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 8/05 1653 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Wow, good for you!!!! I say screw her 
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Posted 1/2/06 3:29 PM
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Mrs. dleeny
My most beautiful day ever
Member since 3/05 12395 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club A+
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Posted by princessofci
So overall I lost my MOH tonight, but gained a lot of self respect
GOOD riddance to her, and good for you for standing up for yourself! 
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Posted 1/2/06 3:47 PM
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michelle42275
Wedding Newbie
Member since 12/05 5 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Miller Place Inn
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
This is the type of attitude I should have adopted! I have a pretty good MOH horror story too!
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Posted 1/2/06 5:21 PM
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michelle42275
Wedding Newbie
Member since 12/05 5 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Miller Place Inn
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
I can TOTALLY feel your pain. I too have a BM horror story with a "so called friend" who told me just 5 mos b4 my wedding that she will "no longer be partaking in the wedding activiites because I "forgot" her b-day". To you believe this BS. I will admit as I did to her, I forgot her b-day and I felt horrible but once I realized I asked her what she did and wanted to take her out to celebrate.
Mind you all, I had been corresponding with her 2 months before her b-day as well as after her b-day and then all of a sound - 2 months - no response and it was getting close to ordering the BMs dresses.
Also mind you that I told her I was a BIT preoccupied with Wedding plans, buying a house, family - father is disabled and mother in law - cancer and don't forget the holidays, oh wait, I work, still try to have a social life - spend time with my fiance and walk my dog - so I at the VERY LEAST expected her to let me make it up to her and take her out to dinner - BUT no reponse! I am a VERY TERRIBLE PERSON.
I guess the BIG clue that she had changed her mind was when she started given me problems about the stores "deposit" policy.
Oh well, one lost- I was a bit more reserved than you and at the very least since we were friends - I had said - no hard feelings but ultimately it will be up to you if you can still be friends. STILL no response.
To be very honest - you and I don't need "friends" like that. You and I are better off! And go you for speaking your mind. You handled it fine - you have enough going one and don't need this BS.
Message edited 1/3/2006 1:17:57 PM.
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Posted 1/2/06 5:29 PM
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Hamptonsbride06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 12/04 1912 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/21/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Posted by michelle42275
I can TOTALLY feel your pain. I too have a MOH horror story with a "so called friend" who told me just 5 mos b4 my wedding that she will "no longer be partaking in the wedding activiites because I "forgot" her b-day". To you believe this BS. I will admit as I did to her, I forgot her b-day and I felt horrible but once I realized I asked her what she did and wanted to take her out to celebrate.
Mind you all, I had been corresponding with her 2 months before her b-day as well as after her b-day and then all of a sound - 2 months - no response and it was getting close to ordering the BMs dresses.
Also mind you that I told her I was a BIT preoccupied with Wedding plans, buying a house, family - father is disabled and mother in law - cancer and don't forget the holidays, oh wait, I work, still try to have a social life - spend time with my fiance and walk my dog - so I at the VERY LEAST expected her to let me make it up to her and take her out to dinner - BUT no reponse! I am a VERY TERRIBLE PERSON.
I guess the BIG clue that she had changed her mind was when she started given me problems about the stores "deposit" policy.
Oh well, one lost- I was a bit more reserved than you and at the very least since we were friends - I had said - no hard feelings but ultimately it will be up to you if you can still be friends. STILL no response.
To be very honest - you and I don't need "friends" like that. You and I are better off! And go you for speaking your mind. You handled it fine - you have enough going one and don't need this BS.
I can totally relate to all of this. I was really upset that I went out, spent a ton of money on her xmas present, put a lot of thought into it, and she didnt even say thank you. She didnt get me anything, but got some really great things for everyone else in our social circle, and I didnt even care that she didnt think of me, I was more hurt that she didnt say thank you
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Posted 1/2/06 5:33 PM
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EJSD2006
2 years down a lifetime to go!
Member since 9/05 5546 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/23/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
good job! i did the same thing to one of my bm's the other day. she was really distant and rude since i got engaged and just couldn't take her negativity anymore. so i told her nicely that i completely understand with all of her life changes (she recently moved and got a new job) if she wanted to step down as a bm. needless to say, she was a bit po'd but i don't care. i dont need her bad attitude during such a happy time in my life. you did the right thing. your friends are supposed to be happy for you, not bring you down.
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Posted 1/2/06 9:49 PM
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Mrs.A2006
Board Fanatic
Member since 7/05 980 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/3/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet Willow Creek A+
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
Wow that stinks but at least you won't have to worry about her actions anymore. I give you credit for standing up to her and not letting her take advantage of your generosity.
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Posted 1/2/06 10:07 PM
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MrsH1156
I'm a Mommy!!
Member since 10/05 3313 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
East Wind AA+++++++
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Re: MOH Rant..Again-Would you be upset? Updated cant believe this happened
I hate to say it but it sounds like you're better off. It does not seem like she was a true friend.
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Posted 1/2/06 10:48 PM
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