Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains of Scotland. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.

'Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love'.
The old man replied, 'I thought so ... would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window ... they're choking my ducks!'

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Okie Dokie I' totally blonde today...I had to read that one twice and then think about it before I got it

I was like...so they really are eating fruit....geez....

That was a goody

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

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Posted by Nina

Okie Dokie I'm totally blonde today...I had to read that one twice and then think about it before I got it

I was like...so they really are eating fruit....geez....

That was a goody

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don't worry i read it twice also so you're not alone

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership and browses. Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escapes her.

Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. But, as she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman.

With a pleasant smile he greets her, 'Good day, Madame, how may we help you today?'

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle.'

Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, 'Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you're gonna **** when you hear the price.'

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

I had to read it twice too

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His
wife told him, 'Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me
that goes zero to 200 in two seconds flat.'

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She
>opened itand found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

these are great ladies

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

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Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

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Posted by Nina

Okie Dokie I' totally blonde today...I had to read that one twice and then think about it before I got it

I was like...so they really are eating fruit....geez....

That was a goody

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I didn't get it either Ed had to explain it

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

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Posted by enjft

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Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

It's okay Christine....we can be dumba es together!!!!

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

I've got a good friend who married a Doctor.
One day he told her: 'You need to do something to spice up our love-making'.
Soon thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D.
'Why?' asked her husband. 'You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making;
I just wanted to get a Second Opinion', she replied...

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

lololol

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)

Ed asks his ten year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know!' the child said, bursting
into tears.
Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.
'Oh dad,' he sobbed,'at age six I got the
'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I
got the 'there's no Easter bunny' speech.
Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no
tooth fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me
now that grown-ups don't really have sex,
I've got nothing left to live for!'

Re: Joke of the Day 12/01 (omg i can't believe its december!)