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Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower (UPDATE)
ChrissynRicky Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:14 AM+
ChrissynRicky MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 14639 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:14 AM bride-minus.png

Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower (UPDATE)

I've been asked to compile the guestlist for my Bridal Shower, and my mother bought up a great idea - which I think is okay, but MOH doesn't.

I'm a Founding Mother for a Sorority and I've only invited three sisters out of about fifty. One of which is in my Bridal Party, and the other two b/c I'm best friends with them.

The remaining sisters asked if they would be able to come to the Church, and of course I said - yes! They do understand (and have no hard feelings) why I cannot invite them to the wedding.

That being said, my mother asked if I wanted to invite some sorority sisters that I would have liked to invite to the wedding, but couldn't, to the Bridal Shower. It wouldn't be more than ten, but I see it as better than nothing right?

MOH thinks it's rude to bring a gift to the Bridal Shower, and not be invited to the wedding. I agree when it comes to 'etiquette' it's not right, but the sorority sisters completely UNDERSTAND why they are not invited to the wedding.

I don't give a flying cat's eye about etiquette, so PLEASE do not ramble it back to me....just wondering whether or not it's a good idea.

I say yes, mom says yes, but MOH says no.
_____________________________



UPDATE: I'm inviting them. They're younger girls, aren't into the whole etiquette wedding thing, and if they're offended that they're not invited to the wedding (even though they already know why they are not and that they aren't) they don't have to come!

Thanks Ladies for all your honest opinions!
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JessicaM. Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:21 AM+
JessicaM. MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 10882 WEDDING DATE: Apr 23, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:21 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I say invite them. they are your friends and want to celebrate with you in any and every way they can. they come come gift free for that matter, it's more just to be involved.

IF they are offended, then they just won't come. but more than likely, they will be touched. anyway, I am sure you are close enough to them that you can give whatever explanation may be necessary.
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FormerlyKnownAsQ Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:22 AM+
FormerlyKnownAsQ MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6038 WEDDING DATE: Jun 04, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:22 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower


Posted by JessicaM.

I say invite them. they are your friends and want to celebrate with you in any and every way they can. they come come gift free for that matter, it's more just to be involved.

IF they are offended, then they just won't come. but more than likely, they will be touched. anyway, I am sure you are close enough to them that you can give whatever explanation may be necessary.



I agree!
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chikita315 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:30 AM+
chikita315 MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 3393 WEDDING DATE: Feb 18, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:30 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

Hmmm - if my math is right, your mom and you make 2/3 and that's a majority, so you win.

I too can give a flying fluff about etiquette. It it's something that is going to make your day more enjoyable and memorable for you than do it!

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LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:32 AM+
LaurenluvsTJ MEMBER SINCE: 1/05 TOTAL POSTS : 11866 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:32 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I don't think you should invite them to the shower unless you explicitly tell them the situation. Otherwise they will be expecting a wedding invitation, and will be hurt when they don't recieve it.
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ChrissynRicky Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:37 AM+
ChrissynRicky MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 14639 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:37 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower


Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I don't think you should invite them to the shower unless you explicitly tell them the situation. Otherwise they will be expecting a wedding invitation, and will be hurt when they don't recieve it.



They already know that they are not going to the wedding. They will be coming to the Church, which is what they asked me about.
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BEANS Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:39 AM+
BEANS MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4617 WEDDING DATE: Jun 10, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:39 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I say the more the merrier!! They already know that you can't swing having them all at the wedding, so I don't see the big deal. I think they will be honored to participate in your happiness one way or another.
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sarahthegreat Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:42 AM+
sarahthegreat MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 6392 WEDDING DATE: Aug 04, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:42 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

i say no, and here is why - its proper ettitque to only invite guests to the shower that are also invited to the wedding.

plus, if they know about your shower thye may chip in on a gift for you and either send it to your house or to the shower with another sister.

its a tricky situation, but in the end i would not invite them.
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soontobemrsv Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:42 AM+
soontobemrsv MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 2775 WEDDING DATE: Jul 01, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:42 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower


Posted by miss_qiana


Posted by JessicaM.

I say invite them. they are your friends and want to celebrate with you in any and every way they can. they come come gift free for that matter, it's more just to be involved.

IF they are offended, then they just won't come. but more than likely, they will be touched. anyway, I am sure you are close enough to them that you can give whatever explanation may be necessary.



I agree!




yup, i agree too!!!
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M&LSept1606 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:44 AM+
M&LSept1606 MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2250 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:44 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I voted no. But, if you don't care about ettiquette...then do it. I would feel funny going to a bridal shower if I knew I wasn't invited to the wedding. JMO
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enjft Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:46 AM+
enjft MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 8808 WEDDING DATE: Sep 02, 2007
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:46 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

If they are outright asking you to come and be apart of the wedding some way some how, I do not see why not.
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SIBride06 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:47 AM+
SIBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 7318 WEDDING DATE: Aug 26, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:47 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

Christine,.. I know your going to hate me for this, but just my opinion, I dont think I would invite them... I was never invited to a shower that I wasnt invited to the wedding.. and everytime I did receive an invite to a shower.. I knew I was going to go to the wedding. But thats just MY opinion. Im not saying its WRONG.. BELIEVE ME!!! You never know who gets offended by things like this (you know the way some people are) but, I really dont know these girls, so I cant judge. I say trust your instinct.. If you feel that its the right thing to do, and you truly want them to be there for you, GO FOR IT. hey.. its better then not inviting them to celebrate with you at all.

I dont know.... maybe its just my family, and the way I was brought up to believe.. but I dont think my mom is going to invite anyone to the shower that she knows will not be at the wedding.
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Mayflower Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:48 AM+
Mayflower MEMBER SINCE: 9/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1060 WEDDING DATE: May 27, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:48 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

You should definitely be able to invite them. It sounds like they understand why they aren't invited to the actual wedding reception and if they plan on coming to the church to see the wedding, why can't they come to the shower and celebrate with you then?
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SIBride06 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:48 AM+
SIBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 7318 WEDDING DATE: Aug 26, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:48 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

BUT...

If you can care less about etiquette.. then throw everything I said out the door.
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hocus Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:49 AM+
hocus MEMBER SINCE: 4/05 TOTAL POSTS : 604 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2005
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:49 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

So I have to go with a no on this one.

It is kinds of rude to invites someone to a shower who isn't coming to the wedding reception. Just my opinion. I think the only real exception to this is office showers.

Sorry. :(
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M&S Sept12006 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:49 AM+
M&S Sept12006 MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 5839 WEDDING DATE: Sep 01, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:49 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I wouldn't do itl... BUT like somebody else mentioned above, if you dont care about the etiquette and they know where they stand then invite them...it'll probably make them feel a part of your celebration.
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ali120206 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:54 AM+
ali120206 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4385 WEDDING DATE: Dec 02, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:54 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I was in a sorority in college and there a number of showers that people were invited to and not invited to the wedding.

I think it's ok since they know the situation.
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DA77 Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:55 AM+
DA77 MEMBER SINCE: 10/05 TOTAL POSTS : 375 WEDDING DATE: Nov 18, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:55 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower

I agree not to invite them. People might become bitter and feel like they were good enough to be invited to the shower but not to the wedding. If you are going to draw a line, I feel like it needs to be consistent throughout all of the festivities. It *****, I know.

Oops, It stinks, I know.
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ChrissynRicky Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:56 AM+
ChrissynRicky MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 14639 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:56 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower


Posted by ali120206

I was in a sorority in college and there a number of showers that people were invited to and not invited to the wedding.

I think it's ok since they know the situation.



Just the answer I was looking for.

These girls aren't even 21 years old yet - they're not into the whole 'wedding etiquette' deal and just want to be a part of something, and wouldn't take offense.
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stephanief Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:57 AM+
stephanief MEMBER SINCE: 7/05 TOTAL POSTS : 4525 WEDDING DATE: Apr 15, 2006
Posted: Nov 09, 2005 11:57 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Need Your Opinions...Re: Bridal Shower


Posted by smm2675

i say no, and here is why - its proper ettitque to only invite guests to the shower that are also invited to the wedding.

plus, if they know about your shower thye may chip in on a gift for you and either send it to your house or to the shower with another sister.

its a tricky situation, but in the end i would not invite them.



I'm sorry but I agree with this.
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