I hated my first pre-cana class/focuss test!

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Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

are you doing it for your families. i know my mom was upset when i told here i was going to use ONLY a justice of the peace. But you know what i am not really religious and dont believe getting married in church and my mom just had to accept that. good luck i know its hard with families.

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

I felt the same way I could'nt believe the questions on that test !

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

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Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

Wow. That sounds terrible. We just had pre-cana this Saturday in Douglaston. It was one day only and we didn't have to take a test or anything. It did start to get a bit preachy in the afternoon when they spoke about spirituality and natural family planning, but it wasn't too bad. Just one long day, I'm thankful it's over. Maybe u can do a similar one day program?

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by Steph62406

I felt the same way I could'nt believe the questions on that test !

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ANd I felt that they were trying to trick you by asking the same questions over and over in a different format. It really bothered me! I mean come on now, don't you think that if we didn't already know if our FH was homosexual we obviously would not be getting married? Do I need a question on a test to ask me that? ANd what was the question about how much income we made? What did that have to do with the rest of the test??

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I was like come on now with the Homosexual questions, When me and FI got done with the test we were just shaking our heads at some of the questions. Just wait until they make you and FI get together to go over the test (after getting your results) that's ten X's worse. They made us go over every question and talk about it. We where there for 4 hours. I'm so not looking foward to Pre-Cana. GOOD LUCK

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

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Posted by Steph62406

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by Steph62406

I felt the same way I could'nt believe the questions on that test !

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ANd I felt that they were trying to trick you by asking the same questions over and over in a different format. It really bothered me! I mean come on now, don't you think that if we didn't already know if our FH was homosexual we obviously would not be getting married? Do I need a question on a test to ask me that? ANd what was the question about how much income we made? What did that have to do with the rest of the test??

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I was like come on now with the Homosexual questions, When me and FI got done with the test we were just shaking our heads at some of the questions. Just wait until they make you and FI get together to go over the test (after getting your results) that's ten X's worse. They made us go over every question and talk about it. We where there for 4 hours. I'm so not looking foward to Pre-Cana. GOOD LUCK

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Not sure if we will make it through!

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by Steph62406

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by Steph62406

I felt the same way I could'nt believe the questions on that test !

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ANd I felt that they were trying to trick you by asking the same questions over and over in a different format. It really bothered me! I mean come on now, don't you think that if we didn't already know if our FH was homosexual we obviously would not be getting married? Do I need a question on a test to ask me that? ANd what was the question about how much income we made? What did that have to do with the rest of the test??

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I was like come on now with the Homosexual questions, When me and FI got done with the test we were just shaking our heads at some of the questions. Just wait until they make you and FI get together to go over the test (after getting your results) that's ten X's worse. They made us go over every question and talk about it. We where there for 4 hours. I'm so not looking foward to Pre-Cana. GOOD LUCK

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Not sure if we will make it through!

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I heard that it's not that bad as long as you and FI keep your answers short and sweet. And never stay around for cookies and coffee.

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

FOCUSS and Pre-cana are two different things. FH and I walked out of taking the FOCUSS test in a great mood. It really started some interesting discussions and we can't wait to get the answers back.

Pre-cana is meettings with your priest or couples in the church. I haven't gone through it so I don't know what they talk about but we are really looking forward to it.

Have you looked into 'Engaged Encounter' www.engagedencounter.org ? It should satisfy your pre-cana requirement and it is not as religious as your church-run pre-cana.

Good luck.

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

We felt the same thing....but we got it overwith....bc we want to get married in the church....and we felt if this is what we have to go through...then OH WELL!!!...

Just think...its OVER!!!

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

oh my gosh we just signed up for pre-cana last week, I don't want to do it now

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

sorry you had a bad experience...hope the next one goes better

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

There are many times when I wrestle with my own religious beliefs. Many of the doctrines of my own faith say one thing, and I believe something else. Sometimes certain things make me feel like I am going through the motions.

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

Yeah i agree some questions were so uncalled for

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

oh that stinks. I think we lucked out with ours... We didn't have to take that FOCUS thing and really weren't preached to at all. Sorry you're having such a bad experience!

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

Fh and I start pre cana next week and I have decided Im just going to grin and bear it.

Though I am not by any means a religious person, I still believe in God and have alwasy dreamed of getting married in a church with all my friends and family there to support us. To me, if it were any other way, it just wouldnt feel right, so I am going to grin and bear everything until the day when the church dorrs open and I get to walk down the aisle.

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

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Posted by MayBride06

I hated my first pre-cana class and I am now having second thoughts about wanting to get married in the church. I cannot believe some of the questions they asked on the Focus test. I left so angry. They talked about natural family planning and such and we will have to sit through a whole night of why we should not use birth control. I am not religous to begin with (only Baptized Catholic) and I am starting to feel hypocritical about getting married in the church thing. Its just not my beliefs. Sorry just venting.

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Sorry you didn't get more out of your first Pre-Cana meeting. The church is against couples using artificial means of birth control-I guess if you didn't know that going into it, I could understand you being shocked. For your next meeting (if you go) maybe you should listen to what they have to say and try to at least understand the reason behind the Church's teachings.

Why would the FOCCUS questions make you angry? The questions try to address any aspect that might cause strife in a marriage. I think it was pretty comprehensive. Even though my FI and I had discussed alot of the items, we felt that it was useful; not a whole bunch, but it did encourage good discussion. Most of the couples left 10 minutes after they got their results, which is sad to me.

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class!

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by MayBride06

I hated my first pre-cana class and I am now having second thoughts about wanting to get married in the church. I cannot believe some of the questions they asked on the Focus test. I left so angry. They talked about natural family planning and such and we will have to sit through a whole night of why we should not use birth control. I am not religous to begin with (only Baptized Catholic) and I am starting to feel hypocritical about getting married in the church thing. Its just not my beliefs. Sorry just venting.

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Sorry you didn't get more out of your first Pre-Cana meeting. The church is against couples using artificial means of birth control-I guess if you didn't know that going into it, I could understand you being shocked. For your next meeting (if you go) maybe you should listen to what they have to say and try to at least understand the reason behind the Church's teachings.

Why would the FOCCUS questions make you angry? The questions try to address any aspect that might cause strife in a marriage. I think it was pretty comprehensive. Even though my FI and I had discussed alot of the items, we felt that it was useful; not a whole bunch, but it did encourage good discussion. Most of the couples left 10 minutes after they got their results, which is sad to me. It is also a good indicator of why there is a 50% divorce rate. This should be the most important part of your wedding day and your married life. If it is not, then maybe you should not get married in the RC Church. Good Luck to you.

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I guess the reason why I was so angry is b/c I could not believe that some of the questions and responses were so obvious to us. I thought to myself why are they asking this question? It did make me realize that FH and i have discussed just about everything which makes me feel even more confident about our relationship. I guess some of the questions were just personal and i really do not want to discuss issues like sex and money with total strangers! We only talk about those things with each other and personally I do not think those areas are anyone else's business but ours! I am calmer today and although some of my friends had the same response about the focus test, the said the actual meetings with the lead couples were fun! So wish me luck!

Re: I hated my first pre-cana class/focuss test!

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I guess the reason why I was so angry is b/c I could not believe that some of the questions and responses were so obvious to us. I thought to myself why are they asking this question? It did make me realize that FH and i have discussed just about everything which makes me feel even more confident about our relationship. I guess some of the questions were just personal and i really do not want to discuss issues like sex and money with total strangers! We only talk about those things with each other and personally I do not think those areas are anyone else's business but ours! I am calmer today and although some of my friends had the same response about the focus test, the said the actual meetings with the lead couples were fun! So wish me luck!

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This test is given nationally to couples of all ages, educational backgrounds, races, etc. It is not individualized, only the answers are. You will not have to discuss your individual responses with anyone but your FI. After that, the results are destroyed. I hope you and your FI have some good discussion as a result of the test and you learn a lot at your remaining Pre-Cana meetings. Good Luck!