MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

Hey Everyone, New to this forum.

Ok so heres my problem, my mother in law 2b is constantly on my fiances back because we have picked Halloween Eve to wed and because the next time Halloween falls on a saturday is in 2009.

She says why wait that long and why do it on such a day. She is Jehovah witness and doesn't approve of celebrating the holiday.

But I am Catholic and so is her son and we LOVE Halloween because it has so many special meanings and memories.

I have explained this over and over and told her that we want to wait because we are not finacially stable to splurge on a wedding like we would like. We need the extra time.

I do not want to get nasty with her but I got to say that I am at my witts end about this.

So I ask how can I get her to understand that even though her son is in this wedding, its not about her but about US!

Also Im kind of stumped on Color schemes. I dont want to over load on just orange and black, so if any one has any ideas or pictures would be great. So far all we have is our wedding cake topper. Herman and Lily Munster.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

sorry that your FMIL is being difficult...weddings have a way of making everyone a little crazy.

as far as the color scheme...what about Orange and Purple?

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

Oh I am so sorry. Understanding her religion (My sons father is a JW) I can see why she would not be happy that you want to get married on Halloween.

But, It is your wedding so I think you should do what you want. I think thats really important, but if you do it then it may start something negative between you two. Is there any other days that are meaningful to you and your FH? Like your first date?

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

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Posted by abutterfly1123

Hey Everyone, New to this forum.

Ok so heres my problem, my mother in law 2b is constantly on my fiances back because we have picked Halloween Eve to wed and because the next time Halloween falls on a saturday is in 2009.

She says why wait that long and why do it on such a day. She is Jehovah witness and doesn't approve of celebrating the holiday.

But I am Catholic and so is her son and we LOVE Halloween because it has so many special meanings and memories.

I have explained this over and over and told her that we want to wait because we are not finacially stable to splurge on a wedding like we would like. We need the extra time.

I do not want to get nasty with her but I got to say that I am at my witts end about this.

So I ask how can I get her to understand that even though her son is in this wedding, its not about her but about US!

Also Im kind of stumped on Color schemes. I dont want to over load on just orange and black, so if any one has any ideas or pictures would be great. So far all we have is our wedding cake topper. Herman and Lily Munster.

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Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

There were a few people in 04 that had halloween weddings ( holloweenbride, oakslady) & at least one that I know of in the future ( hallowedding)
You should do a search or FM that about theme ideas.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

Good friends of mine had a Halloween Eve wedding, was terrific. SHe had red BM dresses with red and orange flowers. THe favors were these mardi gras awesome masks that we all played with during the wedding. Yes, do what is right for you and FH! GL!

Message edited 8/9/2005 9:42:37 AM.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

red and orange or a variation of browns and reds - stunning - don't listen to other people - just remind her that you respect her religion, but that you also have your own religion - and that the wedding is about love -

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

halloween's a great idea and it has meaning for you too! how wonderful! i was a BM in a halloween wedding last year - the bride used dark red dresses and bright, fall flowers. it was so much fun! everyone was doing the zombie dance when thriller came on. i'm just sad they didn't play monster mash, but that's just me. it's your wedding, i think you should do what makes you happy and what has meaning for you two.

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Message edited 11/5/2006 10:15:41 AM.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

I think its great but yet different and fun!. Your FMIL will come around- after all she must see clearly that this IS about her son getting married NOT the day he chose to do it on!

Just think of all the colors and great ideas you can do for a Fall/Halloween wedding!!! Some girls have done a masquerade type wedding with feathers and masks and the masks were the guest favor as well- this way the guest can participate too. Do a general search or go into the brides review and you can find it in there.
Happy Planning, and YES wedding are a lot of $$$$ and if you are in no rush to do it due to finances, age, etc. than do it YOUR way!!!! I dont have a MIL ( she is deceased) but word to the wise you'd better stand your ground NOW b/c if you dont your future will depend on it!

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

I also come from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. My FH and his family is catholic. Out of respect for everyone involved we are making it very non religious. I know for a FACT my parents would not even consider coming to my wedding if it had anything to do with Holloween, or any other holiday for that matter. But I am a people pleaser, and just making sure there are no waves. I am surprised his mom will even go to the wedding, some within that religion are just so strict it would not even be an option.

I do agree though, if the relationship with her is not that strong, then don't worry about it I guess, and have the wedding you really want. Just know she won't be happy, and leave it at that!

Good Luck with your plans!

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

Wow, that's a tough one!! I'm sorry your FMIL is giving you a hard time, but I also feel there should be some respect for her feelings too. Afterall she is your FH's mother.

Of course the day is about the 2 of you, but I would try to compromise. What about having it in the middle of October? That way it isn't on Halloween and your FMIL would prob feel a lot better about it.

But you don't have to wholly give in, you can still have a wonderful wedding where everyone can wear costumes and you can still do all the things you had planned on doing.

I'm just trying to make everyone happy, HTH!! Good luck!!

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

See that's the thing, if she was really strict in her JW beliefs, my FH and I would try to work with her, but she isn't and neither is his brother and his wife, who are also JW.

They do things that are said not to be allowed with that religion but when it comes to holidays and birthdays suddenly they are JW and can't celebrate.

I was taught to be respectful of ALL religions but I feel like she's abusing/misusing her beliefs to get what she wants.

I did consider changing our wedding date but ever since my FH and I began planning the wedding all we could think of is how awesome this wedding will be because its on our special day, Halloween.

I really want to stand my ground on this one I hate sounding so selfish.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

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Posted by abutterfly1123

See that's the thing, if she was really strict in her JW beliefs, my FH and I would try to work with her, but she isn't and neither is his brother and his wife, who are also JW.

They do things that are said not to be allowed with that religion but when it comes to holidays and birthdays suddenly they are JW and can't celebrate.

I was taught to be respectful of ALL religions but I feel like she's abusing/misusing her beliefs to get what she wants.

I did consider changing our wedding date but ever since my FH and I began planning the wedding all we could think of is how awesome this wedding will be because its on our special day, Halloween.

I really want to stand my ground on this one I hate sounding so selfish.

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Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

Nothing wrong w/ waiting. I got engaged in 2001 and am getting married in 2006...no biggie. Everyone has their reasons for waiting and if you are both fine w/ waiting, then go for it. Do what makes you happy. You should pick the day that best suits you...and if that is halloween, then that's the day it should be. Do what is best for you...especially if it means that much to you. I had some experiences w/ people who were JW, and I studied the religion for a little while years ago myself. I understand why she would be uncomfortable, but if that's not your's and FH's beliefs then she will have to compromise. It is your day and you need to do what makes you happy. Good luck!

And...BTW: WELCOME!!!

Message edited 8/9/2005 2:41:55 PM.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

Really random thought...if you didn't mind having your wedding on a Friday, you could move it up a year...not sure if that makes a difference in changing a 4 year wait to a 3 year wait, but it's something...just thought i'd mention it....

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

We're getting married on Halloween Eve this year but we're not really doing any sort of fall theme. My colors are dark red and platinum, so not very fall like!
I'm a fan of the dark red/orange/purple combinations you can do with the fall colors. Gold works too.

Good luck to you in your decision. Its the first of many tough ones you're going to have to face - but remember, this is you and your FH's day, noone elses. If you feel that it honestly isn't offensive to his mother and she's just being a pain, then you have your day whenever you want. You just have to explain to her that that day is special to you and you don't want to look back with any regrets.
I couldn't imagine waiting so long to have the wedding, but i can understand having to save up the $$. YOu'll need it!

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

I think that you should get married when you choose to get married. I can understand where she is coming from but if it means something to you then why change it? We tried to have our wedding on our anniversary but it was just too expensive.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

hay as a fellow halloween eve bride let me tell you - some people wont be able to handle a halloween wedding - especialy if you are halloween theming it - and they wont come - trust me you wouldnt believe all the BS excuses i got
but i think it is far more important for you and fh to have the wedding on a day when it means something to you and not to cave in on what fmil wants. religious affiliations aside - she should be celebrating with you because you are getting married not nit picking over things like the theme or the date - tell her to back off - be blunt about it - have fh tell her to let you alone it is his mother and he should say something to her.

as far as colors - halloweeen can be black red orange purple - anything bright and fall looking - even green and gold will work - we had purple tulle for our little handouts and the bridesmaids wore red and black
we used all kinds of colors -
have fun with it - make it something you enjoy and dont worry what anyone else has to say - ask some of the gals who came to my wedding - it was definately fun. we did all the cheesy halloween dance stuff too - like the purple people eater ( yes someone requested that LMAO)
if you get bogged down and need ideas FM me i'd be glad to help.

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Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

OMG Oakslady, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your cake!!

FH and I were originally planning an October wedding until my brother and SIL whined because her BF is getting married the month before. So we changed the date, but also because of weather reasons, and not just another wedding to compete with.

I agree with the consensus....do what you want, especially if the two of you are paying for everything!! Let her know while you value her input and respect her wishes, it is your and FH's day and this is how you want it to be and how you want to remember it.

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

thanks our cake was made by benkerts in centerreach - i totally recommend them if you want something different - it is all hand carved and designed - we couldnt have just a regular cake - our wedding was a bit odd ( ask miss kitty she was there ) and a regular cake wouldnt have done it for us. LOL
it is based on the Munster's house ( you know that place is on long island? yup it is
so we got a whole bunch of shots of the place from different angles and tah dah - wedding cake of our dreams - we even cut it to the psycho song LMAO

have a ball at your wedding - it should reflect your personality even if it is a bit warped like me .

Re: MIL2B Complaining About Wedding Date

WEll this is your big day! Do what makes you happy and just don't let the negativity over shadow what will be one of the best days of your life! Have fun planning your wedding!!

And as for idea if you do a search you will find some great idea for your wedding