Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

Why do men think that the wedding planning is our job? Is it me or weren't they the ones that asked us to marry them? This planning is so overwhelming. I think my fiance was all there at first until other men starting telling him to let me do all of the work. RRRR, men.

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

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Posted by Swan06

Why do men think that the wedding planning is our job? Is it me or weren't they the ones that asked us to marry them? This planning is so overwhelming. I think my fiance was all there at first until other men starting telling him to let me do all of the work. RRRR, men.

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I mean I am definetely doing the leg work..but I love it. He does come with me to all of the vendor meetings though

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

Oh dear, this is my dream - to plan my own wedding without intereference. I have a GROOMZILLA who wants to be a part of everything to the point where he makes flow charts, graphs and lists for everything.

Moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for.

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

My whole thing is that if something goes wrong it's not my sole fault. It's our fault I just got annoyed last night seeing him plan someone's event. For the last two nights he's been on the computer. He was sooooo helpful at first with finding the location and now forget about it.

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

that is soo true-- im galde he dosnt realy do anything-- and he knows all this planning makes me happy so he just lets me go-- and when i aske him a question he put his imput

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Let me ask you ladies this::: Are you doing it all by yourself??? Or do you have your mom & friends helping you? See I'm doing it all by myself so I'm just overwhelmed.

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They do have it easy, i'm planning w/no other help. I finally gave him projects, he is in charge of getting the guest hotel shuttle, our limo to and from airport. I'm sure i'll be giving him more.

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I had to FORCE FH to help me research honeymoon spots yesterday....He loves planning and helping me as long as he isnt responsible for actually DOING it LOL

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My fiancee is great. I give him all the credit with all of the major vendors. He is excellent with negotiating. He does not want to deal with the minor details though he does want to see what I have in plan. His trained phrase (especially when we register) is 'Whatever you want' He cracks me up.

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

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Posted by ElegantBride

My fiancee is great. I give him all the credit with all of the major vendors. He is excellent with negotiating. He does not want to deal with the minor details though he does want to see what I have in plan. His trained phrase (especially when we register) is 'Whatever you want' He cracks me up.

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Same here - I feel more comfortable with him negotiating w/all the vendors - I'm such a push over that I will be like 'OK' to anything. However, with all of the 'little' stuff, he says whatever you want....sounds good to me!

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

My fh helped pick out the reception hall and thats about it. I am happy to be doing all the stuff myself. I do tell him what I am getting and never book anything without talking to him first, but I am honestly more happy this way. I am the type of person who likes to do everything on my own.

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

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Posted by Swan06

Let me ask you ladies this::: Are you doing it all by yourself??? Or do you have your mom & friends helping you? See I'm doing it all by myself so I'm just overwhelmed.

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I am with you..my mom and everyother close woman lives out of town and state so I am doing all this on my own and FH is no help. I was starting to stress but I just booked DJ so I am good on everything else for a while

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I hear ya Mike isnt it to it - he likes me to tell him wants going on but that its - to be honest i like it better that way for me - I have been doing everything with my mom and its been a lot of fun

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my fi is awful. his ONE job was to try and find hotel to block rooms at. i gave him TWO MONTHS to do it. i even went on mapquest and got a list of hotels in the area of our site. initially, all i heard from him was biatching that he didn't have time to call them. um, hello, buddy - how's about not playing x-box for 5 hours on a saturday and make some calls. i mean, seriously, as much as i love planning the wedding did he really think i WANTED to spend god knows how many hours in the evenings & on weekends looking at i don't know how many photographer & videographer sites to find a handful of ones that we might like?

GRRRR

anyhow, we are now about 6 weeks PAST the due date of his little project and the only thing he has is the information i sent him about one of the hotels based on a review (thankfully, i know how he works and this doesn't really ahve to be done until early next year)

i think what bothers me is that i don't even get a thank you for it. it's like they think that b/c we want a wedding & like talking about it that we like all the research, negotiating and planning it takes so our efforts go overlooked. (sorry, this has turned into a bit of a vent!)

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Tell me about it, I keep telling him all of the things that I have to get done and he says.....'Yeah and I still have to look for a Tux'........real funny, right!!!

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With the awful advice his friends gave him, he doesn't do as much as I feel he should. He even has the nerve to get mad at me after we speak to vendors if I don't ask them the right questions. While we're there he tell me questions I should ask the vendor. RRR. I am not happy right now. Bridezilla has taken over. I just wish my sweet Fiance was back and would be as helpful with me as he is with everyone else.

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

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Posted by Swan06

Let me ask you ladies this::: Are you doing it all by yourself??? Or do you have your mom & friends helping you? See I'm doing it all by myself so I'm just overwhelmed.

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I make all of the appointments with vendors on my own. Up until now, FH and I have gone to various vendors together and bring my mother back to the ones we like best as she is paying for the wedding. Mom is older and is sometimes in a wheelchair or walks with a cane so doing the legwork is difficult. She does not want to be left out of things and I make sure she isn't. I am also the youngest of four. There have been weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs (similarly planned like weddings) that my family has hosted. If you hung around long enough to absorb the information, you already knew what to do in terms of planning. I already knew to visit and book the vendors that would cost the most first and work my way down. FH is the oldest child in his family. His family never did a wedding before so it was all new to him and he wanted to be a part of it. We ended up booking every vendor I liked best anyway. He is a project manager and I am a 'go with my gut' kind of person.

At my age, (35 today actually) you have been to enough weddings to know what you want and what you don't. Every suggestion is played off as well received and then you do what YOU want to do anyway. My wedding has been planned in my head for YEARS. When people offer opinions, it annoys me. What one person feels is beautiful, I often find gaudy and overdone.

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mine doesn't understand why i'm doing it so early since the wedding is a year away. first of all, i'm off for the summer so it's much easier. and also, i want it DONE so i can get my life back

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I went to the library yesterday and got him a book. I forgot the name. I think it was the Grooms Guide. I read the first chapter and loved the advice!!! It talked about asking your FW what her dream wedding consists of and how to be supportive. It tells the groom why women feel the way they do about weddings. Basically since we've been little girls we've had in our head an idea of what our ideal wedding would be like. It's our dream and something we hold sacred. Our grooms will be the only ones who will look into our eyes when our dream becomes a reality and we say, 'I do.' It also tells the groom that we'll be back to our loveable selves after the wedding .

Re: Our Fiance's have it easy!!!

My FI was there when we were checking out halls. Now he is mostly like, I'll give you money you book who you like. Which is good sometimes but I would like a little more involvement. He went with me last night when we booked our photographer but that was like pulling teeth.
I do understand that he works alot and we live a bit far from eachother. But I alway say it is your wedding too.