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If you *hired* an officiant for the wedding...

BlondeJD Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:24 AM+

BlondeJD MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4986 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2003

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:24 AM

**If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

If you hired someone to perform your wedding ceremony (i.e. you don't normally go to their church), are you sending them an official invitation to the wedding?

For any ladies who specifically used Pastor Mike Cassera, if you could let me know what you did, that'd be great!

Thanks so much.

randella Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:30 AM+

randella MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4681 WEDDING DATE: Apr 16, 2005

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:30 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

No-- I am paying my cantor 750 to perform the wedding-- I do not need to pay an additional 400 bucks to feed him and his wife!

Monkeybride Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:32 AM+

Monkeybride MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1790 WEDDING DATE: Sep 17, 2004

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:32 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Posted by randella

No-- I am paying my cantor 750 to perform the wedding-- I do not need to pay an additional 400 bucks to feed him and his wife!

We felt the same way. Our prices were a little lower but still you are paying them to perform a service and unless you formed a great bond/friendship with them I wouldn't feel obligated to invite them to your wedding.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:44 AM+

Mrs. dleeny MEMBER SINCE: 3/05 TOTAL POSTS : 12387 WEDDING DATE: Nov 06, 2005

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:44 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Nope, we haven't met with him yet (we will be meeting in May), but he's not a friend or anything...so we will not invite him.

BlondeJD Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:48 AM+

BlondeJD MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4986 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2003

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 11:48 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Okay cool. We're paying around $500 and we don't know him well, so I think I like the rationale of not paying the extra $400 for him and his wife to eat.

busybee705 Posted: Mar 29, 2005 10:18 PM+

busybee705 MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 605 WEDDING DATE: Jul 30, 2005

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 10:18 PM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

I have the same question too. We don't belong to the church where we're marrying, and therefore do not know the pastor very well.

I don't know what I'll do, because the pastor seems very conservative and would not like the dancing and partying going on. But Mom says it'll be rude if I don't invite him and his wife. Maybe I'll keep them on the B-list...

BlondeJD Posted: Mar 29, 2005 10:20 PM+

BlondeJD MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4986 WEDDING DATE: Jan 01, 2003

Posted: Mar 29, 2005 10:20 PM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Posted by busybee705

I have the same question too. We don't belong to the church where we're marrying, and therefore do not know the pastor very well.

I don't know what I'll do, because the pastor seems very conservative and would not like the dancing and partying going on. But Mom says it'll be rude if I don't invite him and his wife. Maybe I'll keep them on the B-list...

Yeah, for us it's weird too because we're getting married AT THE HALL, so he's already going to be there. I think I'm just going to stick with not inviting him since the only way we know him is from hiring him for the wedding.

cloddy Posted: Mar 30, 2005 09:46 AM+

cloddy MEMBER SINCE: 12/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1071 WEDDING DATE: Jun 04, 2005

Posted: Mar 30, 2005 09:46 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Sorry Jenn, I have always been told you need to invite the officiant. Obviously I'm seeing that i'm in the minority so feel free to ignore the advice if you choose, but I think it would be even harder for you than normal not to invite him because he's already at the hall. On the bright side, he may not stay. After all, who wants to sit and eat dinner with total strangers?

eogara Posted: Mar 30, 2005 10:42 AM+

eogara MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6591 WEDDING DATE: Apr 03, 2005

Posted: Mar 30, 2005 10:42 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Nope! We're paying her $500 and her transportation to and from, which comes out to $132 so that's it!

FTRBRIDE Posted: Mar 30, 2005 11:20 AM+

FTRBRIDE MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1438 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2005

Posted: Mar 30, 2005 11:20 AM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

Heck no! For what they are charging, we're paying them to marry us and then leave! I'm sure when they're on their ride home that we're paying for they can go to eat

cjik Posted: Mar 30, 2005 01:30 PM+

cjik MEMBER SINCE: 2/05 TOTAL POSTS : 1082 WEDDING DATE: Jul 16, 2005

Posted: Mar 30, 2005 01:30 PM

**Re: If you hired an officiant for the wedding...**

We will invite our officiant, and we do not go to his church, though FHs parents are active in his church, so it seemed appropriate.

If it didn't work out with him though and we had to hire someone we had no connection to, I would still invite that person. While hiring the officiant can be expensive, in relation to $$ we're paying for other vendors, this is really a drop in the bucket. Plus, there would be no wedding without this person. Sorry if I'm stepping on anyone's toes, but I do feel the officiant should be invited.