starting a family '?'.....

i thought about posting this under another name but figured i would forget to log out or something and spoil it anyway...too complicated for me...but i would appreciate anyone's opinions and advice.....

its so weird, ever since we finally moved into our home, dh and i have begun to think more and more of bringing a baby into our lives. i can't tell you how many times i am in the gorcery store and can pracitally envision a little mush in my cart, or how comfortable it seems as i pull into the driveway....fil would love it - he already refers to the guest room as the nursery and dh and i anxiously await being parents one day, but for some reason the prospect also completely scares me to death....i don't know, it makes me anxious.

part of it is that i will soon be earing my masters in education and becoming a teacher...and then i will need to get tenure somewhere, which makes it harder i assume once one has a baby (or two, three, etc) in their family....i also know where i to keep my job that i have now i would never feel right working so far from my child and running around so much either...but i guess i oculd make excuses up all day...

on the one hand, i know i am still relatively young and we have peltny of time, but on the other i also recongize that anything can happen and dh and i sometimes wonder what we are waiting for - and if there really ever is a 'good time' (we have come to the conclusion that there isn't!) - any i just crazy or did any of you go through this, too?

thanks for letting me ramble...sorry to barge into this forumbut figrued you all might offer good insight!

Re: starting a family '?'.....

I'm also of the opinion that there is no 'perfect' time. Having a baby is wonderful, but no matter what, it is also inconvenient.

To me what matters is that you and your hubby feel like you are in the right place emotionally -- that you have had your chance to enjoy just being married, taken a great trip together, are done with the party scene, content staying in on Saturday night, and ready to take on a new challenge together. Balancing a baby with work will never be easy.

Re: starting a family '?'.....

Once you have your first baby, everything really does change....for the better 100%. At least that was my experience. While I sometimes miss my 'old' life with freedom, a second income and lots of time for friends and happy hours, none of that compares to how great it is to sit home on on Friday or Sat night watching your baby smile, coo and laugh. That is actually what we did last night. At one point DH and I were both singing the ABC song while I played along on the piano and DH held the baby. Definately not a scene I would have pictured a few years ago!

As many will probably agree, there is never the perfect time, never the perfect house, never enough money in the bank. So don't wait for all of that to happen to start your family...because you will be waiting forever.

I quit my job to stay home fulltime and it is quite a difference in our household income. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I want to be the one to raise my kids, so you make changes and it all works out.

Re: starting a family '?'.....

I dont think theres a perfect time either BUT if there is something you want to do like school, its a heck of alot easier to manipulate your schedule, study, and focus before you have kids. Im in school now and its hard. Last semester was the worst b/c Tara was not on a solid sleep schedule yet so I couldnt count on when I could study. Luke was easier b/c he's in his routine but between the 2 of them, I had zero study time.

Im hoping this semester will be easier now that she's in a routine and sleeps through.

I would never say someone should or shouldnt wait - its for each person to weigh it out for themselves - but from the perspective of a mother and student, it's so much harder than before I had any kids.