POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

How do you handle it?

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

since the only family we have near us is his sister and her husband and kids, that's where we're going.

Last year before we were married:
Thanksgiving we did our separate thing
Chanukah was at my parents
Christmas Eve was at my parents
Christmas Day was with his family
Easter was with his family

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

We are interfaith, and the holidays are one of the positives of that. We celebrate Chanukah here and I invite my family and my inlaws...Christmas is with my DH family. Thanksgiving -- we visit with both parents...one for lunch and one for dinner...we alternate.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

this is very difficult for us so we sat down about 3 years ago and came up with what we thought was a fair system

Thanksgiving...
DH...goes to his family, i go to mine

Christmas
23...his mom
24 ...his dad
25...my dad's then my mom's

Easter
My mom for day and dinner
His dad for dessert.

Mother's Day and Father's day we spend separately with our parent

It works for us

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

today for christmas eve we spend it with Dh's family and for christmas My family. we try to make it fair on both family's.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

DH's mom always does XMAS Eve, so we go there. He doesn't have any siblings and his Dad passed away. So, we always take his mom with us if we're not at her house...I guess it's easy when there's not that many people involved.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

a perk of being interfaith is that christmas and easter is a bit easier to share...however, being a product of divorce and two remarriages, it is still a pain in the arse...so we decided TG for his family, XMAS with my mom, Easter with my dad and parents days are a day by day kind of thing.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

Christmas Eve: My family
Christmas Day: His
Thanksgiving: Both
Easter: We will be in Florida

This is the 1st year where I wont be with my family after DH's family. My family is all going to Brooklyn to be with my FSIL's family.
We usually exchange gifts after dinner, but this year we are doing @ my parent in the AM.
We dont do any exchanging w/family Christmas Eve cuz my parents have about 17 people for dinner.
Im still convincing DH to go to FSIL's for dessert 2morrow night, We shall see!

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

we are doing the same thing we are going to my sister's at 8:30 am to open gifts first time this year!

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

The holidays are always a nightmare as far as deciding who to spend them with - the funny thing is it isn't an issue between DH and I - It's always my MIL that has an issue about what we've decided.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

Thanksgiving -we go to my Moms for Dinner- his Mom's for Dessert

Christmas Eve- My Mom
Christmas Day-His family

Easter-His family or Dinner with my Mom and Dessert with his family.

My Mom just has me, and his mom has 3 boys and his SIL and their kids, so we spend a little more time with my mom because shes alone in a way...

I cannot wait till I have kids, then someone is finally going to come to ME! LOL!

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

Thanskgiving we do at our house

Christmas eve is at our house with my family and Christmas day is at his moms

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

If we do Thanksgiving with DH's family then we have Christmas Dinner with my mom which is what we are doing this year. Sunday we are going out to my dad's.

When we had Thanksgiving with my mom's family then we had Christmas dinner with my in laws then went to my mom's for dessert.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

It's never been an issue for us, in the 7 years we've been together we always agree. Now his mom on the other hand, always wants more of us, but we try to see everyone.

I'm so so so sad that I don't see my mom that much on holidays b/c she is nurse and has to work at least one major holiday a year.

I can't wait to have my own home so I can invite members of both families to come over our place.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

Yes, FH and I dont argue about where we go it's everybody else that has a problem. FILs hate each other and so they don't decide where they're going or what they're doing so FH and I came up with a pact. Whoever invites first is where we go. We do split up x-mas though typically we'll spend the eve and one set of parents and the day with the other. Then the next year we alternate. Thanksgiving is a crap shoot. FILs always get ticked off because we never seem to spend the holidays their...but then again there's never an invite....and trust me it's not for a lack of asking...a week before thanksgiving last year we asked what they were doing... 'We don't know yet'. How the heck dont you know where you're going for thansgiving? So whoever asks first gets us and since my parents seem to be the 'planners' that where we go

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

I'm always screwed working the holidays so its not a problem but on the rare occasions that I'm off DH's family is small and our families get along together so we all usually meet up at my parent's house.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

Thanksgiving is w/ his dad - but they always go upstate so i can't pop by and visit someone else...

X-Mas eve is w/ his mom
X-Mas is with my mom
(both on LI)

Easter is w/ my Dad (he's in VA)

(both sets of parents are divorced)

This only stands until we have kids... once we have kids, x-mas will be at home... And FH's aunt has already passed on Thanksgiving to me

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

No debate here, Lenny loves doing them with my family, he comes from a divorced family and he hates that he has to split holidays between him mom and dad .

So, we visit his mom and dad at some point during the day of each holiday but spend the majority of the time with my family

His family also tends to do things at odd times so its no big deal, like his mom invited me to his grandmothers (he is in Iraq this year) after 8 pm tonight so its not hard to split it.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

No, my family has a huge xmas eve and his family has a not so huge but existent xmas day, while my family just recovers from xmas eve on xmas day Every other holiday we spend with MY family. His family sucks. Plain and simple.

Re: POLL -- Is it me.. or do you and DH/DW have a 'debate' over where/how to spend the holidays with the families?

He is not to fond of his family (except for his sister) And they ALL live in Florida so its my family all the way!