Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

DH and I need to sit down and really figure out what we want to do in terms of housing. We rent now, but have a 1 bedroom, which was fine, but we recently had a baby boy and it's tight. We have some options, and I just can't decide which is the best. I'm looking for opinions, advice, etc.

We can:
Rent another larger apartment, which means more money, less money to save.

Move in with my mom who said we could save what we pay for rent and put it in the bank.... only have to split the food bill, and pay a bit extra for her electric which would go up. This would give us the opportunity to save probably close to $2000 a month (rent, plus what we save already).

Move out of state: This is somewhat appealing because I know we can give our son a great life somewhere else.... a brand new house, a new change BUT our families and all we know are here...... is a house more important than family?

I'm so torn I just don't know what to do. Any advice? What would you do if you were in this position?

Thanks.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

I said move out of state because you said it was somewhat appealing.

I personally COULD live with my mother, but that's just me & the relationship I have with her. We can makes each other nuts but we can also tell each other to puck off if necessary.

Good luck with your decision.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

If moving out of state is possible then I would give some serious consideration to it. I know that Dh and I could be living in a really nice house back in TN. for what we paid for our 750sf co-op in the city.

I have a great relationship with my parents, but I am not sure that I would be comfortable living with them. Although, if you decide to stay in the NY it seems like the best option.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

Depending on both of your relationships with your mom this looks like a good option to save $$$$. If living with your mom is going to make married life stressful don't do it.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

If you're dead set on staying in NY, then maybe moving in with your mom is the best net. Not only will you be able to save more $$, but you'll also have a built in babysitter.
If it were me, I would probably move out of state. I get along wonderfully with my mom, but I think it would put a strain on the marriage anyway. If you and DH had your own house, than family and friends could come visit.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

I am not married yet but will be in the same exact situation as you. I will either have to live upstairs from his parents (NO WAY!!) or move out of state (NJ). I just see that you get way more in NJ then you would in LI for the price BUT like you my family is here. I would say if you want to stay in NY move in with Mom but if it puts strain move out immediately and look where you can afford.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

I would live with my mother plain and simple. Thats a great offer. All that money you save so you can eventually buy a house. Go for it.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

You cannot move off the island! Aunt Stacey & Uncle Dave would cryyyy!

You guys should move in with mom and $ave! You are so lucky to have an offer as generous as this! If you can deal...do it!

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

Family is important.

If you were to move out-of-state .. how far would you be from family?? How difficult would it be to get back for visits?? Would you be okay with your son growing up away from his relatives .. and not seeing them on a somewhat regular basis??

Consider the amount of money you are spending in rent .. and think about the possibility of having a house with an apartment .. you could rent the apartment out?? What people pay in rent these days is usually enough to pay for a mortgage.

I'm just throwing thoughts your way. You obviously have a very difficult decision to make .. but consider your options before picking up and moving .. especially if you're going to be leaving everyone behind for a brand new place.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

i said move out of state, that is what we are doing. we are moving to orlando after we get married. we chose orlando because fh can transfer there w/ his company, and its only a 2 hr flight on jet blue to get there for our families! we are having a house built for less than a handyman special on LI would be!!! my parents are in denial about us moving, but its our only way to live the way we want to without killing ourselves working like crazy, just to 'get by'. i dont know how people do it on LI these days, and i really respect them for being able to. FH and i make nice $ combined right now, and we are both moving up, but it still isnt enough. this way we will have a brand new house in a beautiful golf community, and will be able to give our family everything, where if we stayed here, it would be a struggle. i never thought i would leave NY, but i am so excited now! fh's parents will be retiring to the carolinas in a few years anyway and i am still working on my parents to come down to fla to retire as well! i couldnt recommend it enough! fm me with any questions!

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

i said move in with your mom. if you have a good relationship with her i would do it. i have lived with my mom and stepfather for almost 2 years now and its been a huge help. i have a great relationship with my mom so it wasnt a problem and it enabled me to pay for my wedding upfront and purchase a house i would have never been able to do that paying my last apartments rent of 1500 plus gas and electric. if it doesnt work out with your mom you can always move out of state but i would at least give it a try first since it sounds like you need to leave you current apartment regardless. good luck let us know how it turns out and congrats your the new baby

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

If you didn't have a baby, I'd say move. However, since you have a baby I say move in with mom. Caring for a baby is stressful enough without being alone somewhere brand new!

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

I couldn't move out of state, and i don't even have a child yet!
I do believe that family is important, and yes more important then housing.
If i were you i would at least try living with your mom, if it doesn't work out then you can consider other options. But i think it is worth a shot. Housing on LI isn't impossible, just a hard possibly long process

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

JMO, but a house is not worth not having family/friends around, especially now that you have a baby.

I say stay with your mom for awhile, and when you're ready, begin the house search here.

Re: Looking for advice: Move off the island, rent or move in with mom?

i voted move out of state.

But i am not a NYer and I find a lot of NYers don't like to move.

A new life, new house and fresh start is very appealing to me. And having a 'home base' to visit makes it special. Which is how I feel when I go home to see my Dad. I hope that my children will get TWO views. The one they're raised in and the one they see when visiting grandpa!

I live with the in-laws and we're planning to stay here until at least Feb. Then, we shall see.

I REALLY REALLY miss/want having my hubby in a house ALONE with me. Family is great, but privacy is key for me. Im not home from college, I'm married. Just my opinion