Need advice about my father walking me down...

I had this idea for my walk down the aisle. My father and my mother have been divorced since I was nine (now 31), and my mother did all the raising as both parents. While I love my father he never helped my mother financially or emotionally when it came to raising me and my brother. So for my ceremony I wanted my father to walk me halfway down the aisle and have my mother walk me the rest of the way. Kinda making a figurative and literal statement. Welllllll - when I shared this with my father at first he was like 'it's your wedding, whatever you want', then he really thought about and came at me with an attitude of 'if i don't walk you down the entire way then...' he didn't exactly fill in the blank.

I cried for two days about this because i don't feel he deserves the right or privilege of the honor, my mom does. But when I told my mother she said let him do it, she's afraid he won't help out with some of the wedding costs (which I desperately need), and he might make my day miserable by being an *** the whole day. So my FH and I said instead we will do a special dedication in the ceremony for our mothers, but I wanted that to be my special something for MY mother.

Any advice?

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

Your mom sounds like an amazing woman - even today she's willing to let him have the honor of walking you down the aisle. She's great!

Personally I say let him walk you down the aisle - if you are depending on his financial help then you have to play by some of his terms. You can of course do the flower dedication to the moms during the ceremony.

At the reception you might want to consider making a speech to thank you mom for all that she has done for you throughout your life and have a special song to dance with her.

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

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Posted by Ang&Rich

Your mom sounds like an amazing woman - even today she's willing to let him have the honor of walking you down the aisle. She's great!

Personally I say let him walk you down the aisle - if you are depending on his financial help then you have to play by some of his terms. You can of course do the flower dedication to the moms during the ceremony.

At the reception you might want to consider making a speech to thank you mom for all that she has done for you throughout your life and have a special song to dance with her.

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Thanks so much for the input, i like the reception idea!!

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

I'm so sorry!

A agree with Ang's solid advice - I think your mom has the right idea - your father is probably just insecure about how that will 'look' to others...don't let it bother you. I think it would be so much more special to have a dedication to your mom in the ceremony and then publically thank her.

It is your day, but sometimes you have to be flexible to the wishes of your parents...dysfunctional as they may be. It will all work out!

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

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Posted by Ang&Rich

Your mom sounds like an amazing woman - even today she's willing to let him have the honor of walking you down the aisle. She's great!

Personally I say let him walk you down the aisle - if you are depending on his financial help then you have to play by some of his terms. You can of course do the flower dedication to the moms during the ceremony.

At the reception you might want to consider making a speech to thank you mom for all that she has done for you throughout your life and have a special song to dance with her.

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This is really great advice.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Try to remember that your mother knows and understands her place in your life and she sounds amazing.

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

I have a similar situation - I'm having my divorced parents walk me down together - one on each arm so they are treated equally. Maybe that would work for you?

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

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Posted by ppwbride

I have a similar situation - I'm having my divorced parents walk me down together - one on each arm so they are treated equally. Maybe that would work for you?

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I was going to suggest the same thing

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

Since BOTH my parents raised me I am having them both walk me down the aisle. I'm not Jewish either, I just love that tradition.

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

yeah, i posed the simultaneous walk down and he said, 'he'll think about it', but HE wants the traditional father down the aisle

...you guys are very supportive

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

Are you depending on your father for a big chunk of the financial costs? If not, I would suggest your Mom. If yes, I think it is a beautiful tradition to have both parents walk you down the aisle. You have time to try and convince him how much it means to you to have both parents walk you down. Sorry you are dealing with this

Re: Need advice about my father walking me down...

So sorry he did this to you! I was going to suggest that both of them walk you down the aisle, but if he won't go for it... At least you and your Mom know how you wanted it and that is what is important, if you can't make him budge.