Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

Background:

Ok...so I have a friend who got married late June and I wasn't invited. I was a bit hurt (as well as another somewhat close friend lets call him FP for future reference) but I didn't say anything. Well after the wedding he approached me (I did not say or show a thing) and just outright said that he regretted not inviting me to his wedding and the reason why was that he didn't want me to feel weird because I wouldn't know anyone but he really wished he would have. I felt ok but a bit strange. I never got him anything and sort of wished I had. I just thought me getting him something would have put him in an odd predicament...of course until he said that

fast forward to 3 weeks ago....me and the aforementioned friend went out drinking FP got a bit tipsy and said (I NEVER SAID THIS) yeah me and Buckles were a little odded out about not being invited and my married friend just broke down and apologized and sincerely (in my opinion) said he really wished he had invited us! He really regretted it!

He really is a good friend (closer now) and has shared things with me that he hasn't shared with others and at the very least respected me enough to pull me completely aside and tell me how much he regretted not inviting me to his wedding. I really really really want to invite him to my wedding! I am more viewing my wedding as a really fun party/event. I just feel so odd inviting him. I feel odd because I didn't get him anything even though I really wanted to but mainly I don't want him to feel awkward for not inviting me. And I really mean it he is not just the casual friend. I really enjoy his friendship and he has confided things in me that he hasn't with anyone but his wife. WHat should I do. I just don't feel like there is anyone I can turn to! Do I invite him? DO I not? Do I get him a gift now and send the save the date in a month? DO I just approach him and make a big deal out of it saying 'I really want to invite you but I don't want you to feel weird? Do I just not invite him? Any help would be so helpful....my FH just doesn't know how to help me and this has been weighing on my shoulders for so long!

Any advice woule be really appreciated. I have been so worried about this for SO long.

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

I think that since he has apoligized and let you know how bad he feels and he knows in a way that he f'd up, it would be ok to invite him. You said your self that you are closer now then ever, so that should answer your question. I know its hard to forget about the past and you are worrying about how you will make him feel, but i think it would be ok. You are 'close' friends now and probably would be upset knowing you didnt invite him. Let him be the one to decide if he will feel akward coming dont make the decison for him, like he did for you. You need to do the right thing.
let me know what you decide.

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

Do you think I should just send him the STD and not broach the topic of the invite or should I talk with him first and tell him that he is invited?

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

Don't say anything now at all to him. Just wait to see how your friendship goes the next few months. If you still feel the same way invite him then.

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

Don't say anything, DEFINTELY invite him if you really do want him there. - I don't think it would be weird at all. -
Don't worry about giving him a gift, you were not invited. And doing it now may make him feel akward...- Make up for it when he buys a house or something.

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

I agree, don't say anything. I think that would make it even more weird. As far as the save the date, if he lives local i wouldn't send it if you dont want too.

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

OMG..you should invite him!

Everything I've read says that it's very important not to base your choices on others choices toward you in these cases. You did reconcile...so invite him if you want!

Relationships change constantly...this stuff happens. Even with bridal party choices...the first rule is :You don't have to ask someone just becuase you were in thier party.
And it's true...it works both ways...

You can ask him, even though you didn't go. And it's never too late for a 'belated wedding present'. Couldn't hurt...



JMO

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

I say invite hin- and also, just so you know-

ettiquette says that guests have a year after the wedding to give the couple a gift- so you can still give him something without it looking weird . . .

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

Thank you so much for your advise! LIW girls rule! When I feel like I have no where else to turn LIW girls save the day!

I really do and have wanted to get him a little something, but is it weird to get him something now seeing that he may take it like I am getting him something because I want to invite him to my wedding? Also he closed out his registry, if you think I could or should get him something now, any ideas?

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

Ok drama over, this is what I decided would be the best idea...Please tell me what you think....

I am inviting him and I'm not going to tell him before hand...that may make a big deal of something that is not...I am just going to send him a STD and not get him a wedding gift as that may make it more odd. However in leu of a wedding gift, they just bought their first house, so I will get them a wedding/house warming gift! I think that is the best way to handle things.

What do you think?

Re: Need help!-WEdding/Friend dilemma--Sorry Long!!!!

I agree - I would invite him too.