Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

If you do not go to someones shower are you suppose to get them a gift?

I have always done this for people and now that my shower has been passed almost a month ago i still have not gotten any gifts from at least 6-7 friends who were not there. I am not a greedy person but I find it rude, I have a lot of inexpensive stuff that a person can buy to show that they are thinking about us One person i went to her shower and engagement dinner and gave really nice gifts at both. One even RSVP yes and never came and has not sent any type of gift.

And i don't think i am getting anything due to a month has passed and nothing further is off my registry.

I just find it rude, but maybe you don't have to bring a gift if you do not go to the shower????

Happen to anyone else?

PS - I had another 7 or 8 people not come to a shower and send a gift.....that is why i am asking...

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I usually do send a gift even if I can't attend the shower... I just think its the right thing to do!

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I always send a gift if I cant attend. Funny thing is I usually spend more because I feel guilty that I cant go. But I do know girls that dont send gifts if they dont go. I dont think its right, but there's really nothing we can do. Sorry hon......

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I usually send a gift also

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

The official ettiquette is that if you do not attend you do not have to send a gift. I aways do, but it if was someone I barely knew & wasn't going to the wedding either, I might not send anything.

3 of my coworkers sent gifts. 2 did not- none attended.

2 friends did not & one of them I sent a gift to when I didn't attend hers. The other never rsvp'd.

everyone else who didn't attend sent something, except for one of FMIL's friends I do not know, the one girl who never got her invitation & the friend who said she is sendig something.

I am not offended, because you do not have to send something, but I am a little suposed at the friend who I sent something to.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I was just invited to a shower in May but couldn't attend so I sent FMIL with my gift. I spent just as much as I would have if I had attended. So I personally do think a gift should be given even if you do not attend but as it was mentioned before - there's not much you can do. But if these people haven't had their showers yet then you know what to get them when they do.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I agree...that is really the one that kind of makes me upset. I went to her shower, engagement dinner, bachelorette party and wedding and always gave a gift/put money in and she can't send a $10-$20 gift....i just find it very weird but whatever...you really see true sides of people huh?

As for the one who RSVP yes and never showed up I find it weird just because i take it she didn't get a gift but maybe that is why she didn't show up

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

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Posted by GoingNutty

I usually do send a gift even if I can't attend the shower... I just think its the right thing to do!

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i agree! i got gifts from people who were unable to attend my shower mailed to me at home. it's just the right thing to do!

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I always send a gift.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I always did but I guess it's not 'the norm' to do so anymore.

I wouldn't expect gifts from people that dind't come. Could be that some can't afford and that's why they didn't attend.

I still send, though, when I can. If I can't I don't worry about it but if it's a close friend I try to send something.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

my shower was on sat.! a/b 5 of my girlfriends could not come b/c of the distance and stuff. so far only 1 has send a gift and 2 others have emailed me and said they were sending something. but i would not doubt some not sending anything. alot of people are not aware of certain etiquette!!!

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I had 2 of fh's cousins respond to my MOh that they weren't coming but that they had a gift for me and wanted to know where they should send it. She told them and I never received anything, even though I bought one a gift and send it when I couldn't attend the shower. As for the other cousin she was already married when I met fh. My shower was back in March so I know at this point they never intended to send anything.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I always send a shower gift if I can't attend the shower.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

I posted something similar right after my shower. At that time, me and a bunch of other brides agreed that after having our own showers, we've decided that from now on, we will be scaling down on the gifts.

I USED to spend approx $100 on a shower gift- even if I did not attend.

For my shower, some didn't send anything and some who attended gave very small gifts...

so, from now on, my average will be $50 for a shower gift, and if I'm not attending, I'll only send a gift for someone who is CLOSE to me...

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

Yes, I had three people RSVP to my shower and not show up. I received a gift from one person but not from the other two. Those are the same two people who also RSVP'ed to my wedding and also didn't show. They so pissed me off on not showing to my wedding. They were friends of mine from school and we KIT threw the years, but aren't good friends. So I am so mad at them for being so rude that since we weren't really friends anyway and we hardly spoke or even saw each other, I just don't want to speak to them anymore.

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

if i am going to the wedding i send a shower gift - if i am not i usually dont - especially if the person isnt close to me

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

to me it would depend on who it was,
if im good friends with them id get them a gift, or close family, or a regular friend who got me a gift.....
i wouldnt send one for like a coworkers daugher though unless really close to the coworker...

Re: Report from Newlywed Board...for Those who have had their showers

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Posted by divabride

I always send a gift if I cant attend. Funny thing is I usually spend more because I feel guilty that I cant go. But I do know girls that dont send gifts if they dont go. I dont think its right, but there's really nothing we can do. Sorry hon......

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i also spend more out of guilt when i cant go especially if there person is a relative or close friend but i usually send something even if its just a gift card.