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is it tacky? (invitation question)

snowprincess805 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:42 PM+

snowprincess805 MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1936 WEDDING DATE: Aug 13, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:42 PM

is it tacky? (invitation question)

I was reading on the knot -that you are only supposed to wear long dresses to weddings that say formal reception - but NY weddings almost everyone wears long dresses to an evening wedding

I have a lot of guest coming fromthe sticks of western Pennslavania should i write
Formal Reception to follow

Is that tacky?

I don't want other people to wear tuxs - so i do not want black tie optional

thanks

sophie78 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:44 PM+

sophie78 MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3426 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:44 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Formal reception implies black tie imo

snowprincess805 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:49 PM+

snowprincess805 MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1936 WEDDING DATE: Aug 13, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:49 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Thats what i was afraid of - thats what it implies to New yorkers but not to other states - i don't know how to convey to Pennslavia guests that it is formal

nferrandi Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:51 PM+

nferrandi MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5367 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 03:51 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

I don't think 'formal reception to follow' implies black tie. FH doesn't want it to be black tie, but we do want to make it very clear that is a 'dressy' affair. We're having the ceremony at the hall so we're writing 'formal reception to follow.'

chicagogal Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:05 PM+

chicagogal MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 550 WEDDING DATE: Nov 26, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:05 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

I don't think that sounds tacky.
People outside NY are less formal though. i've been to weddings out here (even at fancy places) where guys just show up in khakis and polos and if it was during the day...khaki shorts.

KimberlyBride Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:17 PM+

KimberlyBride MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 8869 WEDDING DATE: Oct 15, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:17 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

I know how you are feeling. One of my FH's Uncles asked if he could wear jeans!!!!! He is a farmer in Oneonta, NY. WAY WAY WAY upstate. I was like huh!!!! But he nicely told him a suit is appropriate. Too funny!

Kim

snowprincess805 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:21 PM+

snowprincess805 MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1936 WEDDING DATE: Aug 13, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:21 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

The reason i am more scared is that i was at a wedding this weekend in PA/WV at a golf resort - and there were people in shorts and it was an evening wedding

also- we may have too much food in NY -but there was not enough food at this wedding - the CH was just vegatable and fruit platter and two type of passed appatizers and then a buffet for dinner

MegLehner Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:32 PM+

MegLehner MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1045 WEDDING DATE: Oct 16, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:32 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

I dont think it is 'tacky' per se. I do think people sometimes get annoyed when invites tell them how to dress - thats just what I have heard from other people.
If you write formal reception to follow though - some people from NY might wear tuxes and you said you dont want that.
I want my wedding to be really formal - tuxes and gowns. I have black tie on website and having my mom and fam pass the word around.

tourist Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:35 PM+

tourist MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 9094 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

i have heard you don't put anything unless its black tie, black tie invited, or white tie.
I'm not sure what formal would convey to most people. How formal?

Bebalina Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:51 PM+

Bebalina MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4892 WEDDING DATE: May 14, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 04:51 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

I think u should do it and just write formal reception to follow...in a case like this u have no choice...

aimerliny Posted: Jun 17, 2004 05:09 PM+

aimerliny MEMBER SINCE: 5/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1861 WEDDING DATE: Nov 06, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 05:09 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

We put 'Formal attire requested' in the bottom right corner. We didn't want to put Black Tie Optional, because we felt that New Yorkers would then wear tuxes. But this way, out of towners know to wear gowns and dark suits.

jill13bean Posted: Jun 17, 2004 05:10 PM+

jill13bean MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2893 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 05:10 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

i would write black tie optional... but only for a night time wedding......JMO

bellepoque Posted: Jun 17, 2004 05:21 PM+

bellepoque MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1287 WEDDING DATE: Aug 07, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 05:21 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

We used our reception card to let guests know that we are requesting formal attire. By formal attire we mean suits for men, cocktail dresses for women. We have told everyone in our wedding parties; our families and our close friends what we mean by 'formal attire' to pass it on to anyone who is invited to ask them.

Marisa&Brian Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:06 PM+

Marisa&Brian MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 803 WEDDING DATE: May 20, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:06 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Posted by am470

Formal reception implies black tie imo

I disagree. - 'Black Tie' means Black Tie
'Formal Reception' means just that, it's NOT Balck Tie, but it is not at all casual

Stacey04 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:24 PM+

Stacey04 MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2290 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:24 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Posted by Marisa&Brian

Posted by am470

Formal reception implies black tie imo

I disagree. - 'Black Tie' means Black Tie
'Formal Reception' means just that, it's NOT Balck Tie, but it is not at all casual

I agree..I don't even know if some people from NY would wear tuxs if it said Formal, b/c they know if it was intended to be/say Black Tie, it would say Black Tie, not formal reception

hbradio Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:39 PM+

hbradio MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 9836 WEDDING DATE: Apr 29, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 08:39 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Posted by KimberlyBride

I know how you are feeling. One of my FH's Uncles asked if he could wear jeans!!!!! He is a farmer in Oneonta, NY. WAY WAY WAY upstate. I was like huh!!!! But he nicely told him a suit is appropriate. Too funny!

Kim

3 of my BM and like 15 of my friends are coming from the suburbs of Rochester NY - WAY further than Oneonta so I know what you are saying!!! I went to a wedding up there in a black dress and the girls there had on sweaters & dress pants!!!! Hello I wear that to work!

RedHead Posted: Jun 17, 2004 09:00 PM+

RedHead MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 18740 WEDDING DATE: Oct 02, 2004

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 09:00 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Posted by Stacey04

Posted by Marisa&Brian

Posted by am470

Formal reception implies black tie imo

I disagree. - 'Black Tie' means Black Tie
'Formal Reception' means just that, it's NOT Balck Tie, but it is not at all casual

I agree..I don't even know if some people from NY would wear tuxs if it said Formal, b/c they know if it was intended to be/say Black Tie, it would say Black Tie, not formal reception

I AGREE WITH BOTH!

MayBride06 Posted: Jun 17, 2004 09:03 PM+

MayBride06 MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 5555 WEDDING DATE: May 28, 2006

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 09:03 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

Posted by snowprincess805

The reason i am more scared is that i was at a wedding this weekend in PA/WV at a golf resort - and there were people in shorts and it was an evening wedding

also- we may have too much food in NY -but there was not enough food at this wedding - the CH was just vegatable and fruit platter and two type of passed appatizers and then a buffet for dinner

New Yorkers always have to do everything to the extreme. Thats why weddings cost $40,000 here

JLP Posted: Jun 17, 2004 11:38 PM+

JLP MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1099 WEDDING DATE: Mar 12, 2005

Posted: Jun 17, 2004 11:38 PM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

The etiquette books say that writing anything about attire on the invite is improper, but I disagree. I've seen it done a million times and I've never been offended. If anything, I was always glad for the direction.

Go for it. It is your wedding. Anyone who doesn't like it can go swallow a brick.

Corduroy94 Posted: Jun 18, 2004 10:28 AM+

Corduroy94 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1848 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2005

Posted: Jun 18, 2004 10:28 AM

Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)

All of my FI family is coming from a small town (pop 1600) in Wisconsin. When we were out there in a Wallmart there was a lady asking the salesperson for help finding an outfit....She said 'I'm going to an evening wedding in a few weeks & it't at a pretty fancy catering hall. I want something really nice! Do you have anything in DENIM?!'

I am SO AFRAID this will happen to us! The costomer was so excited to see denim Koolot (sp?) outfits & dresses. I love (most of) these people who are coming. I'm more worried not about how they'll look but how THEY'LL FELL surrounded by these fancy New Yorkers...